Trust

Trust is a concept that is discussed quite often.  Usually we hear about trust in a negative manner; generally when someone breaks a trust with another person.  Depending on the topic held in trust, the breach can take a very long time to heal.  Sometimes it never does.  There is always a hesitation to fully trust someone again that did not honor the request to keep something in confidence or when someone you think is an ally, turns on you and says or does something to you that just makes you stand back and say “wow, I never expected that from them.”

When a trust is broken, it feels like a knife was plunged into one’s back.  The pain and anguish that is felt can be horrific and sometimes compels people to make a decision to move forward away from the situation which caused the breach in the first place.  While mistrust of someone or something can be very taxing on one’s psyche, it also provides the proverbial silver lining in that it motivates one to seek trust elsewhere or at least keep those who broke the bond of trust at an arm’s length.

Trust is something that should be cherished.  When found hang on to it tightly.  Everyone needs to find someone or something they can trust.  It can be a reliable constant and comfort in a world of backstabbers and two-faced hypocrisy.

In terms of the queer community, one of the most serious breaches of trust occurs when someone tells another that they are queer and expects that to be held in confidence.  It is crushing to discover that the secret has been let out by the one you trusted to confide in.  When one is just discovering their sexuality and trying to find people that they can trust, having someone dishonor the request to maintain the confidence can be a devastating blow.  It sometimes even causes the person who wants to come out to go further into themselves; back into the security of their dark closet.

If you confide in someone about your sexuality and the secret is not honored, always remember the “silver lining.”  While a breach in trust can be disconcerting, it was meant to happen.  It is the universe’s way of getting you to look inside yourself and make decisions that you might not have otherwise made.  It is the impetus to move on and become who you were meant to truly be.

 

 

New Cyber Law Targets Gays In Philippines.

There is growing concern among gay activists in the Philippines that the new Cybercrime Prevention Act of 2012 signed into law this month by President Benigno Aquino III, will unleash a massive wave of extortion, harassment, and suffering by the hands of law enforcement officers and anti-gay groups, reports Jason Shaw.

ProGay – The Progressive Organization of Gays claims the Republic Act 10175 contains some rather vague provisions which could criminalize a wide array of shared electronic activity and communication between consenting lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender adults. They also feel it will invade their personal privacy like nothing else before.

The group say a particularly worry is the definition of Cybersex crime, which could result in a prison sentence of between six and ten years or fines of up to half a million pesos (US$23,963. UK£14,784) “The wilful engagement, maintenance, control, or operation, directly or indirectly, of any lascivious exhibition of sexual organs or sexual activity, with the aid of a computer system, for favor or consideration,” the new law reads, which is causing great concern.

“There are many transgenders who are forced by poverty into baring their bodies before a webcam just to feed their families and send their siblings to school, and they are unwilling victims of trafficking by profiteers. This law can potentially double the victimization of poor trans and gay persons because the terms wilful and favour and consideration are so vague. The law can deem trafficked persons consented to work for pay,” Clyde Pumihic, the secretary general of ProGay said in a statement.

Pumihic also advised that homophobia and transophobia was common place among law enforcement officers, saying that for almost a century, transgender and gay Filipinos engaged in sex were targeted by police who used the recently abolished Anti-Vagrancy provision of the Revised Penal Code in the streets and bars. “But now, they have this PNP and NBI fielding the Office of Cybercrime agents who will stalk LGBTs by the thousands without even having to prowl on patrol cars, they just have to use a keyboard to track down LGBTs. It’s like having the Vagrancy Law on Internet,” he said.

It is not just action from the authorities that worries the gay community, Pumihic explained the danger is more widespread, saying the Cybercrime law can also be used by thugs, syndicates and other private violent groups in entrapping and blackmailing innocent gay, bi and trans people who are simply surfing online for dates or lovers or fleeting acts of exposure, “Instead of protecting us from the real cybercriminals, this law is indeed unwittingly turning us into cybercriminals,” he said.

The ProGay leader appealed to the Supreme Court to declare the law unconstitutional because of its invasive threats against the private lives of LGBT citizens. The group has also called on Aquino to work to pass the Antidiscrimination Law in Congress.

Ban Gay Sex Says Australian Psychologist

A homophobic psychologist and candidate seeking election in New South Wales, Australia has demanded gay sex to be outlawed and for the right to discriminate against Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender citizens.

Philip Pocock, who claims to be a psychologist, is standing as an independent representative in Canberra, in the Australian Capital Territory, uploaded a video in 2008 defending the Pope’s anti-gay doctrine. In the YouTube rant he argues that homosexuality resembled a threat to humanity as great as climate change claiming the Pope was “correct, even from a scientific view”.

“The first step to dealing with the problem is to accept that despite genetically different levels of masculinity that are often visually evident, no one is a homosexual unless they practice homosexual acts, in the same way that no one is a bank robber unless they rob a bank” Pocock prattles on in the video.

The future politician criticises Australia’s political establishment for paying “lip service” to social conservatives, Mr Pocock refers to gay people as “perverts”. He also wants to see “rules” against sex before marriage, infidelity and divorce. According to local reports, he recently told the Archdiocese of Canberra and Goulburn that most politicians are either inadequate to enforce “legitimate sexual expression” or they are addicted to “distortions of sexuality.” He also declared that “a true ‘union’ only occurs in heterosexual vaginal intercourse and homosexual unions not only deserve no special rights but must be seen as the destructive behaviours that should be actively discouraged.”

Pocock doesn’t trust his fellow Australians, claiming that sexuality should not be left to individuals but regulated by the state,  “It is not something that should just be left to individuals, in the privacy of their bedroom.” he said.

However, one supposes we could be quite lucky, for Pocock stops one step short of provoking and promoting physical violence saying that nobody had the right to engage in “poofter bashing”.  But apparently this is not an attack on gay people,  it is, according to Pocock an expression of love.   His warped idea of love we can well do without.

Sadly Pocock’s views are not isolated, there is an increasing atmosphere of homophobia and discrimination reported since the bill for marriage equality failed to get enough support a little earlier in September.

Google Solves Bisexual Identity Theft

Google No Longer Erases Bisexual Identity

The Tech Giant Google that supported GLBT rights around the world with its “Legalize Love” campaign last July, has finally unblocked the work “bisexual “ from its Auto Complete and Instant Search Features.

“Google’s Bisexual Problem” – Blog by Faith Cheltenham, 7/18/2012

According to the president of BiNet USA, Faith Cheltenham who helps coordinate bisexual advocacy, outreach, and networking efforts for the bisexual, pansexual and fluid communities in U.S.A., “ if you type in gay, lesbian or transgender into a Google Search box, Google Instant search begins to auto-complete the search while making relevant suggestions. “ However, before September 12, 2012, when you typed in “bisexual,” there were no search results. Why? Cheltenham, a veteran web/social media producer, named one of The Advocate Magazine’s “Forty under 40,” this year concluded that Google didn’t want you to find “bisexual.”

Explanation for Bisexual Absence

SEO Expert Peter Soltes explains, ”what can be tricky though, if the Google algorithim accidentally decides these webs are related to pornography.” Then, they’re blocked.

After pressure, Google removes “Bisexual” from List of Banned Words

Google decided to change when it got pressure from the bisexual community and campaign groups whose rankings on the website fell as a result of being blocked.

Ellen Ruthstrom, President of the Bisexual Resource Center, organized bisexual groups to create resources and connections for individuals trying to find like-minded community, primarily on the Internet. To a bisexual who feels alone, the Internet is a friend she can turn to for advice and support.

Bisexuals Need Internet Support to Counteract High Suicide Ideation

According to the 2011 Bisexuality Invisibility Report, 1 in 2 bi-women and 1 in 3 bi-men have attempted or considered suicide. When they turn to the Internet for support, they don’t need to find out that their community is blocked.

 Long-Term Advantages

Now, with bisexual in Google’s search engine algorithm, terms such as ‘bisexual quotes’, ‘bisexual rights’ and ‘bisexual parenting’ automatically pop up. However, comments Cheltenham “it will take time for bisexual search terms to be ranked as they were before the ban, but now bisexual people and their allies have a fighting chance to be seen, heard, and understood. We are thankful that Google now sees bisexual people just like everyone else.”

 

 

 

Expectations

Expectations; we all have them.   When we are young we expect to grow up to be successful, healthy, well grounded individuals.  The innocence of youth harbors high expectations for not only ourselves but for those around us and how we interact with them.  We also expect to be treated fairly and equitably, and want to trust people to do the right thing for themselves and others.

As we grow older, life takes hold and it begins to dictate what the reality will be.  As a result, our youthful expectations seem to diminish.  We shove them to the back of our minds because we allow the perceived realities of life to tell us that we do not deserve those grandiose expectations fabricated in our youthful, innocent minds.

Instead we settle for less; our expectations of what will be our reality become dependent upon external influences and circumstances dictated by others.  As a result, our ego minds convince us that lessened expectations are what we deserve.

Many of us who lived closeted lives also had high expectations, but there was a hidden regulator on our ability to actually know deep inside ourselves that our expectations could be fulfilled.  Our ego minds would always draw us back to the reality that “hey you are gay; you aren’t going to achieve those high expectations, so just settle for less and be done with it.”

Unfortunately, many queer individuals take this perception of their lives to their graves.  They never regain their innate ability to shape their own destiny by using the power of their minds to bring their high expectations to fruition.  They die with their songs unsung.  That is sad, very sad.

Repel the shackles of the ego!  Take charge of your life once again.  Remember the exhilaration you felt resulting from your youthful expectations, dreams and desires.  Recapture that energy by releasing the power of expectation once again!

Decide today that you are not going to die with the music of your life unwritten, unscripted.  Write your own choreography of your future by using your power of expectation to set your goals of who you want to become.  Reject those that wish to put a regulator on your ability to see grander circumstances for yourselves than what society says you deserve.

Energy

All matter in the universe is comprised of energy that vibrates continually.  Our bodies, while made of flesh and bone is a ball of vibrating energy as well.  The energy that courses around and within us is not separate and unto itself.  It is the common thread interlinking us with everything and everyone.

Subsequently, it is because of this energy swirling about that nothing stands still.  Movement is required due to the expenditure of energy.  What path that movement traverses is determined by each respective individual and the signals being emitted individually.

Even though many times we do not realize it, we determine the course of events in our lives.  Our very nature creates that which is happening in our lives fueled by the energy of the universe.  We are not without power.

Energy finds like energy based upon the signal being released from our minds.  If we are worried, fearful or angry, the energy that will be attracted by these emotions will be returned, and will only compound the worry, fear and anger that one is experiencing.  Conversely, if we emit a positive signal grounded in optimism, hope and most importantly love, then our lives will naturally be enriched by the return of optimistic, hopeful and loving energy.

In terms of one’s sexuality, especially closeted queer individuals, the type of energy emitted is negative, and thus adversely impacts the very essence of one’s being; their soul.  The soul knows what it is meant to become but the fear grounded in ego, restrains the soul’s growth and movement forward; its energy is contained thus dooming it to a life in darkness.

As we transmit negative energy to imprison our soul, we can also transmit positive energy that will feed and nurture it, thus empowering it to move forward toward fulfillment of its inherent purpose to benefit humankind.  Our soul seeks to enjoin itself with the energy that creates oneness with all others and the universe.

The power is within us to decide to change.  Make a decision to come out of your closet.  Coming out will foster the death within yourself of that which held you captive in the darkness.  It shall create a new life that shall be greater than the old and grounded in the oneness of the universe and its omnipotent power to benefit all humankind.

Good and Bad in Minnesota

I applaud the stand made by the parents of a gay Minnesota soldier who was killed in Afghanistan who are launching a state-wide tour by veterans against a gay marriage ban, reports Jason Shaw.

Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt’s son, Andrew, died in 2011, yet despite of their personal tragedy, the couple have embarked on a tour of the state to talk about how their son would have been affected by such a ban.

Minnesota already has a law on the statute that makes gay marriage illegal, however a proposed constitutional amendment on the November ballot would define marriage as between one man and one woman. This, according to the amendment supporters is to prevent the gay marriage law being overturned at some stage in the future.

The fight against gays and marriage equality is all set to ramp up this week when as all Roman Catholics in Minnesota will receive a letter this week sent from the state’s bishops. The letter urges them to donate money for television ads asking voters to say yes to the constitutional amendment More than 400,000 Catholic households are expected to get the letter asking them to make a financial donation to awfully hate fuelled Minnesota for Marriage, the chief homophobic group campaigning for passage of the marriage amendment.

John Green, a political science professor at the University of Akron in Ohio, who studies politics and religion. Said “I can’t think of anything as direct and as explicit,. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it legally, but certainly I’m sure it’s very controversial. Catholic leaders have been involved in fundraising. I know of examples where they have reached out to parishioners, but I’ve never heard of anything quite this comprehensive.“

I wonder how much producing and sending over 400,000 letters cost, how may staving children around the world and in Minnesota that money would have fed. Surly as a fundamental religious organisation they could have thought of much more beneficial and worthy things to spend their money on rather than wasting it on hating and discriminating against other members of their society.

UK Prisons – A hotbed of homophobia.

Homophobia is still a routine fact of life for the inmates of British prisons a new report has found, reports Jason Shaw, Gay Agenda’s UK correspondent.  There have been many moves in recent years aimed at eradicating discrimination against prisoners on the grounds of race or religion, yet the challenges facing most gay men in prison have still not been addressed sufficiently by the UK prison service.

A fact highlighted by a letter printed in this month’s edition of Inside Time, the national newspaper for prisoners, “I am gay and very ‘camp’ and due to my sexual orientation I have received abuse from other inmates,” writes the prisoner who then explains that when the abuse turned to threats of violence he was granted “VP status”, meaning he is now classified as a vulnerable prisoner and located on the vulnerable prisoner unit.

Since becoming a VP he has lost his job in the prison education block, is allowed only one morning session of basic education each day and spends the rest of his time in his cell. “I think the way we are treated compared to ‘normal’ prisoners is completely unfair and unjustified,” he concludes.

It is estimated that there are as many as 8,000 gay prisoners inside in the UK at any one time and statistically that’s unlikely to change. However, homophobic attitudes are still rife on the wings and landings of all of the UK‘s prisons. A few gay inmates can survive thanks to a forceful personality enabling them to cope better than many others. However, they are in the minority, according to former prisoners, where derision and abuse is the norm. Many are coerced and pressured into engaging in sexual activity, quite often by those that verbally abuse or deride them the most. Some are not so lucky, many suffering physical abuse and serious sexual assaults, most of which go unreported to or by the authorities.

The rules in UK Prisons are clear, sexual activity between prisoners is strictly forbidden, but as we all know, some rules do get broken which is perhaps why every male prison in the country has a “condom policy”. “There has been a shift in attitude from some of the more enlightened staff, especially those responsible for equality,” says Steve Jones, the Terrence Higgins Trust’s national director for Wales. “But the exaggerated macho culture precludes many of the staff engaging willingly and openly with this issue to actually support gay and bisexual prisoners who want or need that additional support.” He told BBC radio.

Steve Jones says that advice and guidance given to gay prisoners is derisory, “Generally, the guidance would be: ‘You must try and protect yourself, or keep it quiet’. If you are targeted because of your sexuality and are forced to be segregated, we have to ask: would that be tolerated if it was in relation to race or religion?”

Even the “condom policy” isn’t as good as it possibly sounds, it hardly ensures safety and dignity. “If a prisoner wants to practise safe sex he can ask at the wing office or at the healthcare centre for a condom,” Jones says. “One will then be prescribed at the medicine hatch. Some prisons also demand the return of the used condom.” The THT would much prefer to see condoms readily available from the prison shop.

The prison service “does not condone or facilitate sexual relationships between prisoners. Prison doctors can make condoms, dental dams and water-based lubricants available to any prisoner, irrespective of age, if in their clinical judgment, there is a risk of the transmission of HIV or any other sexually transmitted disease.” Explains a spokesman, adding “Discrimination, harassment and bullying will not be tolerated in any form, and swift and appropriate action will be taken to address any reports of victimisation.”

However according to all evidence available, the gap between policy and practice is so vast it would be laughable if the situation wasn‘t so serious. Far more needs to be done to ensure the safety and equality of gay men in UK prisons as a matter of urgency, yet those on the inside are often the silent and forgotten minority.

 

 

Rutgers U. Gets Top Rating by Campus Pride

***** Rating
Last week, Campus Pride, an organization that rates schools by the inclusiveness of their policies, gave Rutgers’s New Brunswick’s main campus *****. Rutgers scored 31 out of the 32 possible categories in which a school can distinguish itself.

College WAS famous for Homophobia Just Two Years Ago

A Rutgers freshman named Tyler Clementi committed suicide after he learned that his roommate Dharun Ravi mocked his sexuality by spying on him and another man having sex, recording it, and inviting friends to watch the recording. This 2010 tragedy brought the college national negative attention and his roommate a 30-day jail sentence.

GLBTQ Services Have been Expanded

Although Rutgers was one of two student groups in the U.S. in 1969 to have a gay student league ( “Rutgers Homophile League”), since September 22, 2010 when Clementi jumped off the George Washington Bridge, the college has been trying to improve its tarnished image.

The Support that GLBTQ Rutgers Students Can Expect

  • Four specialized housing options, three of them new.
  • A service to pair students with like-minded roommates.
  • Rainbow Perspectives, a floor in a residence hall organized around common interests. It’s not just for GLBTQ students, but also heterosexuals who like living side-by-side with those of different gender identities.
  • Delta Lambda Phi, a predominantly gay fraternity.
  • Official campus liaisons consisting of 130 trained staff and faculty members.
  • Training program for allies meant to be friendly to GLBTQ causes.

Campus Resources for “queer issues” is 92 pages long in the 2012 handbook.

 Increase in Resources Attributed to Suicide

The New York Times on September 22, 2012, “Rutgers, Tainted by Webcam Spying Case, Expands Campus Services, claims that since Clementi’s suicide on September 22, 2010,  “the university has increased its efforts, propelled by a vocal campus community, an energetic administrator and an urgent need for damage control. Even some of the students have been startled by the strength of the Rutgers’s embrace.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Entrapment

When we hear the word “entrapment” it is usually used in a legal context when the police lure an individual into doing something that they could ultimately be prosecuted for.  Entrapment can also denote other things such as an employer who lays traps for employees to trip over so they can be written up by superiors or steps taken to fire a particular employee.  For the purpose of this article, the focus will be on “self-entrapment” which can be much worse than being entrapped by the police or small minded employers.

What do I mean by self entrapment?  Our minds can be like prisons.  Often times we convince ourselves other people’s impressions of us and living up to those expectations is more important than who we truly are.  The only crime involved in self-entrapment is the inability to become aware of one’s own innate potential and become the blossoming flowers we were meant to be.

The inability to accept our realities can muddy up our individual perception.  Often times we entrap ourselves into thinking we are of lesser value than our fellow human beings.  We begin to lock ourselves into limits only created in the mind, thus ultimately creating feelings of loneliness, self-pity and anger.  Destructive thoughts and behavior then simply become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Living in the closet epitomizes the definition of self-entrapment.  We deny our reality of who we truly are.  We live within a façade of lies interwoven into what is real.  We become so enmeshed in our fear of what other people will think of us that we construct a separate world apart from the internal truth of who we are.  We entrap ourselves in a bubble of self denial and in the extreme case, self-destruction by suicide.

Decide to break the shackles of your self-entrapment.  Break free from your self-imposed prison.  Remove the roadblocks that are depriving you of your internal balance.  Look in the mirror and make a decision that the person staring back at you is worth fighting for.

Nurture your true potential by putting yourself in situations and amongst other like minded individuals that can help you realize that your self-entrapment, your self-imposed prison, is just a veneer of mistruth keeping you from being the best you that you can be as an out and proud LGBTQ individual.