If you Change Nothing, Nothing Will Change

I recently saw a quote on Facebook that said, “If you change nothing, nothing will change.”  When I read this, it just hit me that yes, how true!  If we keep doing the same things, we will get the same result.

It is important to always create change in our lives so we do not become stagnant.  Once stagnation sets in, negativity creeps into our consciousness and we begin to blame others for what is happening, or not happening, to us.

I have been reflecting upon my life and where I am at the moment.  There is a level of complacency and stagnation that has begun to take hold.  I have decided to initiate some changes that will serve to propel me forward and create new energy to fulfill the destiny that is before me.  I encourage you to do the same.  Some of the choices I shall make will be difficult ones, but deep inside I know whatever I ultimately decide, they will be the right decisions.

You may be saying to yourself that you are content and no change is necessary.  That is a sign that you need to change. That is complacency!  We can always better ourselves and do more than what we are doing in order to create a more meaningful impact in our lives and in the lives of others.  There is always room to improve and become more fulfilled and content.

Once a person stops growing, they die, mentally. No matter how fulfilled and content one is, there is always something greater to reach for. When the time is right and the universe deems it so and feels a person is ready to move forward more, it shall be so.

What is it that is holding you back?  What do you need to change in your lives right now that will create some positive energy to propel you forward to new heights of achievement and success?  Decide how you are going to approach dispelling what is holding you back and develop a plan to move yourself forward. You will not regret your decision.

Change is always painful too.  Once a decision to change has been made, forces of inertia begin to swirl about us to try to sway our decision and create fear within ourselves to stop what we have put into action.  Do not succumb to fear and doubt nor listen to those who try to convince you to change your mind.  Continue forward and embrace change courageously and without regret.

Paris Hilton’s Anti-Gay Rant

Paris Hilton has issued a lengthy public apology after she was secretly recorded making homophobic comments to a gay friend in a taxi.  But is it too little and too late to stop the horrendously homophobic and uninformed statement damaging her fragile reputation.

During the conversation, in which a man is heard logging on to gay dating app Grindr, Hilton says:

“Ewwww…gay guys are the horniest people in the world…they’re disgusting. Dude, most of them probably have AIDS…I would be so scared if I was a gay guy…you’ll like, die of AIDS.”

The remarks were made during the early morning of September 7th  while Hilton was in Manhattan for New York Fashion Week,  the private conversation was reported by US media.  One of her media representatives tried to down play the remark as one allegidly showing the singers caring side.   This didn’t wash with the media or anyone else.

However on Friday, the star wrote on her official Twitter account “I want to say how sorry I am,” and linked to a full statement that had been sent to the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), it said:

“As anyone close to me knows, I always have been and always will be a huge supporter of the gay community.

I am so sorry and so upset that I caused pain to my gay friends, fans and their families with the comments heard this morning.

I was having this private conversation with a friend of mine who is gay and our conversation was in no way towards the entire gay community.

It is the last thing that I would ever want to do and I cannot put into words how much I wish I could take back every word.

HIV/AIDS can hurt anyone, gay and straight, men and women. It’s something I take very seriously and should not have been thrown around in conversation.

Gay people are the strongest and most inspiring people I know. It is so wrong when people bully or put down others for being gay. No one should have to go through that.

Again, I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart and I feel absolutely horrible. I hope that everyone can accept my apology and know that it is not who I am or how I feel in any way.

Thank you for taking a minute to read this, I love you.”

But is this apology too late?  has the damage already been done to her fragile reputation?  Is she seen as a caring and considerate or does this just demonstrate a higher level of homophobia and hatred for gays she’s previously demonstrated in interviews with  the gay media as well as in private.

I certainly wont be wasting any money on buying any of her stuff.

First U.S. Bisexual Pride Day

Berkeley, California First to Host Bisexual Pride Day

The Williams Institute in Los Angeles, at the University of California, is devoted to the study of sexual orientation and the law. It estimates that more than four million Americans identify as bisexual, more than the number of Americans who identify as gay, lesbian or transgender combined.

Berkeley, the city that brought you the Free Speech Movement in 1964-65 at the University of California, last Tuesday, proclaimed September 23rd as Bisexual Pride and Bi Visibility Day. The City Council voted unanimously and without discussion on this matter. Since 1999, bisexual activists have claimed the date to celebrate their community in major cities across the U.S.

Bisexuals Have Been Given a Bum Rap

Often misunderstood and accused of being “on the fence” about their sexuality, bisexuals are criticized by straights and homosexuals alike. Martin Rawlings-Fein, Director of the Bay Area Bisexual Network, commented that critics, like gays, “think we have ‘straight privilege’ and we hide in that. We get pushed to the side in the LGBT community and told we don’t exist, that we’re actually gay or lesbian and just not totally “out.”

Not Overlooked With This Official Recognition

Councilman Kriss Worthington introduced the resolution and called it important for Berkeley to support an event “conceived as a response to the prejudice and marginalization of bisexual persons… They deserve our support and acceptance and increasing bisexual visibility is a way of saying, yes, they do exist.”

Worthington is an openly gay person and the first openly gay Vice Mayor running for Mayor. During his reign, he created the LGBT liaison in the Berkeley Police department and sponsored the first LGBT sensitivity training for every member of the Police Department

The resolution Worthington and The City Council voted on Tuesday, September 18th, states, …” the bisexual community remains a distinct one from the gay community and seeks acceptance as such, making it important for the City of Berkeley to demonstrate support for the community individually. “

More Politicians Declare Themselves as Bisexual

Mary Gonzalez, who came out as bisexual at age 21, now calls herself “pansexual,” meaning she is attracted to all genders. She is a member of the Texas House of Representatives. Kyrsten Sinema, is a bisexual candidate running for the U.S. Congress from Arizona.

Alfred Kinsey’s sexual studies as far back as the 1940’s showed that sexual orientation is a continuum and as such is subject to change. By acknowledging this group with Bisexual Pride Day, “it’s an important step forward for a group of people often viewed as an afterthought,” claims Nancy Carleton, a former Berkeley zoning board chairwoman.

 

 

Gay Soccer Player Its Too Dangerous

A top German professional soccer player fears he could be attacked by fans and even by other footballers if he goes public with his sexuality and officially comes out.

“I don’t know whether I will be able to take the constant tension between [being] the model heterosexual player and the possible discovery until the end of my career,” the unnamed top flight player said in an interview with Germany’s Fluter magazine.

He told them women friends act as “beards” at public events to disguise his sexuality, acting as his girlfriends. He confesses sadly that his last gay relationship was “poisoned” and destroyed by all the secrecy.

The German player thinks the increased media attention regarding his private life would have a big and detrimental impact on the pitch for him. “In the situation in a stadium or after the game, any tiny thing within the group would be made into a big deal.” More worryingly, he added, “I would no longer be safe if my sexuality was to be made public.”

He is not however an isolated case, there are other gay yet closeted sportsmen who share the same feelings, worries and anxieties. “I would love to come out and be open about my sexuality, but I just don’t think the UK is ready for an openly gay player yet.” a UK based professional football player told me in secret earlier this week.

“We thought racism was a thing of the past, but then you had that John Terry and Anton Ferdinand business and you hear the occasional racist remark or chant from the terraces and you realise that perhaps we haven’t moved forward as far as we thought we had.” he tells me.

“If we haven’t stamped out racism yet and it’s now 2012, what hope have we got for homophobia?”

“There isn’t a training session or a match day that doesn’t pass without some sort of homophobic remark or joke banded about the changing room or on the pitch. Sure, most of it is just banter between guys with ego’s far larger than their IQ’s, but even that can be discriminatory and sometimes hurtful. They just don’t think about it, its a normal part of the ’lifestyle’ and therefore its accepted and if its accepted then its considered to be ok.”

“Of course there are some deeply homophobic players as well, they say they’d never tolerate a ’queer’ on the team, on the pitch, sharing changing rooms and all that sort of stuff. Thankfully guys like that are getting few and far between, at least I think so, of course I can’t be sure and homosexuality isn’t really talked about a great deal. Unless it is the basis of a joke or something like that, homosexuality is somewhat of a taboo subject.”

In a recent interview with the Gay Football Supporters Network (GFSN) Clarke Carlisle, Kick It Out ambassador and York City player said “You know it is one of the biggest bugbears for me that no player feels able to come out and talk openly about his sexual orientation”.

Clarke said he had spoken with eight gay players recently, “Seven of the eight said they didn’t want to come out because they were worried about the media. Nothing came of our conversations with these players so I guess we are back to square one”.

He continued “You have to understand that the use of language in football, in the changing rooms, between players and managers and of course on the terraces is at a pretty base level… so any player thinking about doing this would need to be very brave”.

Whilst Clarke remains worried that any out gay footballer would be “driven out of the game,” because of pressure from the fans and the media, the anonymous player however believes that’s only part of the fear and an equal amount of pressure would come from within, “Football is run much like an ‘old boys network’ and I don’t think they are either ready to support or willing to accept an openly gay player. There is a lot of hostility there and those attitudes don’t just change overnight.”

DOMA May Soon Be A Relic of the Past

Vermont has joined ranks with New York and Connecticut to ask the district courts to rule that the 1996 federal law that limits marriage to the union of one man and woman is unconstitutional.

How DOMA is Unfair

The Defense of Marriage Act deprives same-sex couples of over 1,000 federal benefits including federal income tax credits, employment and retirement benefits, health insurance coverage, Social Security payments, and unfairly discriminates against them.

The Federalist challenges to DOMA are that it infringes on the 10th Amendment to the Constitution, which grants the states all the powers not specifically reserved for the federal government.  It also claims that DOMA violates Article 1, Section 8 of the Constitution, which limits the power of Congress to attach terms and conditions on the allocation of federal funds.

Gay marriage is legal in Vermont, New York and Connecticut, but they have filed a brief in a case brought by  Edith “Edie” Windsor, a New York City lesbian married woman, who had to pay $363,000 in federal estate taxes on her partner’s Thea Spyer’s estate. The couple were together for forty-four years and married in Toronto.

Case in Point

Windsor sued the government in 2010. She is awaiting a response from the Supreme Court. She is continuing to defend herself in the Second Circuit of Appeals. Windsor, 83, has a heart condition. Because of the District Court’s ruling in her favor, she is entitled to an automatic stay of enforcement, but she can not yet receive a refund from the estate tax that she was forced to pay.

The federal government said last year it would stop defending DOMA. President Obama has signaled his opposition to DOMA by ordering the Justice Department to no longer defend the law in court. Obama believes the onus for changing the law falls on Congress

President Obama made same-sex marriage part of his Democratic platform. Several federal judges have ruled that DOMA is unconstitutional, including Massachusetts which was the first state to legalize same-sex marriage in 2004.

Another Case: Five Same-Sex Binational Couples Sue to Overturn DOMA

If you are a heterosexual married person in the U.S., you can sponsor an immigrant spouse for legal residence. Not so if you are married to immigrants of the same sex. Binational same-sex couples are at risk of either being separated by deportation or being forced to leave the U.S. in order to stay together. The lawsuit, filed in U.S. District Court, last Monday for the Eastern District of New York challenges that situation

Victoria Neilson, the legal director for Immigration Equality and a co-counsel in the case, argues that ” DOMA violates the Constitution by mandating different legal treatment for gay couples.  There are married couples in the states of New York, Connecticut and Vermont who can sponsor their spouses for green cards, and the only thing preventing the couples in our case from doing that is the fact that they are in lesbian and gay relationships. The Constitution does not allow that kind of discriminatory treatment between two groups that are identical. “

 

 

I Have to See It To Believe It

“I have to see it to believe it.”  This phrase denotes a relationship between seeing something with our own eyes in order to believe that something exists.   This relationship is grounded in the conscious mind in that belief is premised on the actual manifestation of an event or item.  But what about the subconscious mind?

The power of the mind is amazing.  It can work to our benefit if you allow it to.  Conversely it can throw us into a tailspin of dramatic proportions.  We control which one is predominant.

We can choose to create the belief necessary to see situations that we want to have that have not manifested yet.  However, many people envision the things they do not want and unfortunately, the very thing you do not want becomes the reality.  It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  In this case, blame is placed on others for creating the situation, rather than on oneself for actually creating the situation using the dark side of the mind.

Make a decision to use your subconscious mind to your benefit by visualizing situations, events and circumstances that you desire, rather than those you do not.  The power of visualization negates the “I have to see it to believe it” paradigm.  See it in your mind, believe that it can happen, and it shall be so.  The faith in the power of visualization will create the very thing you are seeing in your mind, without having to “see it to believe it.”

When one is in the closet, the predominant mindset is that they must stay in the closet in order to protect themselves from things that probably will never happen.  The power of fear controls the subconscious mind.  Fear creates the visualization of terrible things happening if they come out of the closet, thus foreclosing any chance of evolving into the person that they are meant to be; forever keeping their true selves buried within themselves.

Visualize the person you want to be.  See yourself out of the closet, happy and living the life you were meant to.  Create situations in your subconscious mind that you desire, and believe that they are the reality.  Faith and belief in visualizations premised on love of self instead of fear will stir the power within to forge ahead to achieve the greatness that is inherently in all of us, waiting to be discovered.  No one but you can make this discovery.

Bisexuality Exists

Bisexuality does exist and is celebrated throughout the world each year. Every year on September 23, Bisexuality day is observed by members of the bisexual community and their supporters.

There is a flag dedicated to bisexuality. The colors of the bisexual pride flag are pink, purple and blue which represents the community in unity. We usually only see the gay pride flag which represents all colors of the rainbow.

Bisexuality is romantic or sexual attraction or behavior toward males and females. Most who call themselves bisexual like both sexes close to equally and it’s hard to give up one sex sexually.

There are many critics out there who believe bisexuality is just a phase or a way to hide their real sexuality. How do you feel about bisexuality? Does it really exist out there in your opinion?

I was bisexual for a few years and ultimately decided that I was into men more. I do believe that you can be in love with both sexes for the rest of your life. Being bisexual is tough because you have to deal with critics and your dealing with both sexes. If you are bisexual share your story in the comments below.

12 Months For Homophobic Mugger

Mugged gay teenager scared to walk in the park.

An 18 year old who was mugged in Gloucester says he’s now scared to walk through the park and is forced to walk out of his way to get home. Andrew Macey was just 18 years old when he was viciously mugged in Gloucester Park just yards from his home in January of this year.

The attack has left the teenager anxious and desperate to move to another part of the city, “I grew up in a rough area of Kent and nothing like this has ever happened to me before”. the games design student told local media.

He added: “I was shocked that something like that happened to me here, and it has definitely changed the way I see the area. It has left me scared to walk outside the house on my own. I don’t walk through the park anymore I go the long way around.”

This week, Gloucester Crown Court heard how Joel Campbell, also 18, grabbed Andrew by the throat and pushed him against metal railings, bruising his back in the process. He screamed homophobic insults at a college student and robbed him of his wallet and mobile phone.

Campbell of Emerald Close, Tuffley, was found guilty and sentenced to 12 months’ detention in a young offenders’ institution.

Joel Campbell, 18, of also stole Andrew Macey’s mobile phone and wallet.

Andrew and his fiancé Mark Griffiths are now looking to relocate to another area and rebuild their confidence in the city.

September is Suicide Prevention Month

The Trevor Project, the leading national organization focused on suicide prevention efforts among LGBTQ youth, has named September as National Suicide Prevention Month, with a month of awareness activation on youth suicide prevention. September 27th is Trevor Day,  named to raise awareness and show support for youth in crisis through special events held throughout the country.

“Talk to Me “ Campaign

To encourage conversation and support for the GLBTQ population, The Trevor Project has a current campaign “Talk to Me.”  It is inspired by research released by the Department of Health and Human Services earlier this month that indicates that the promotion of help-seeking has a significant impact on suicide. The campaign has five components:

  • Pledge
  • Post
  • Wear
  • Act
  • Share

For more details, see http://www.thetrevorproject.org/talktome/2012

History of The Trevor Project

The Trevor Project was founded in 1998 in West Hollywood by three filmmakers, creators of an Academy Award-winning short film “Trevor.” This film was about a gay thirteen-year-old boy, who was rejected by his friends and attempted suicide. When the film was scheduled to air on HBO in 1998, the filmmakers wanted a support line for kids like Trevor to be aired during the broadcast.

“Build It And They Will Come”

Finding that none existed, they formed, with the help of The Colin Higgins Foundation and HBO’s license fee, The Trevor Lifeline, the first and only nationwide 24 hour crisis and suicide prevention helpline for LGBTQ youth. 1-866-488-7386.

It’s a free and confidential service that offers hope and counseling. Without judgment, the trained counselors listen and understand. They can also direct the caller to supportive organizations and groups in the caller’s area.

Celebrities, both gay and straight, have supported The Trevor Project. Since August 10, 2009, actor Daniel Radcliffe, “Harry Potter,” gave generously to the Lifeline because “it is truly devastating to learn that LGBTQ youth are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers.” There is a Live Chat Q & A with Daniel Radcliffe now on the website as well as You Tube and Google + pages.

Other services that The Trevor Project include are:

  • Dear Trevor, an online non-time-sensitive question-and-answer resource for young persons with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.
  • Trevor Chat, a live and secure online messaging service for those not at risk for suicide.
  • Trevor Space, an online social networking community for LGBTQ youth, ages 13 and 24, and their friends and allies. With links to the home page, Trevor Space is monitored by administrators designed by the project to ensure content is age-appropriate for personal profiles.
  • Youth Advisory Council serves as a liaison between youth nationwide and the project as it relates to young people and the issues surrounding suicide, sexuality and gender identity. This Council submits recommendations to the project to increase Trevor visibility and best serve the LGBTQ population.
  • Palette Fund Internship Program has five internships in Los Angeles, New York City offices. They work in communication and development and are introduced to the LGBTQ youth population.
  • School Workshops. The Lifeguard Workshop Program uses an age-appropriate curriculum to address sexuality, gender identity, and effects of language and behavior upon LGBTQ students. It also teaches recognition of depression and suicide among peers and suicide prevention skills in schools.
  • Awards:  Annual events honor individuals and businesses that have been leaders in supporting LGBT rights and advocated against bullying and hate crimes. Lady Gaga won last year’s Trevor Hero Award. Past recipients of the Trevor Life Award for inspiration to LGBTQ youth include Roseanne Barr and Debra Messing.

 

Lil Wayne Better Change His Tune

Rapper Lil Wayne Criticizes Frank Ocean’s Sexuality in Song

Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr. (born 1982), better known as U.S. rapper Lil Wayne, in a remixed version of Future’s new single “Turn On The Lights,” raps:  ‘ Tell her I skate/I ain’t got no worries/ No. Frank Ocean, I’m straight.’

This is not the first time that Lil Wayne has mouthed off. On his “Weezy Ambition” record, he chants : “got money out da ass/ no homo.”

What Lyric Refers to

The” Turn on The Lights” lyric refers to the R & B singer Frank Ocean who used his Tumblr account last July to share the liner notes for his first major solo success “Channel Orange” record. These revealed in detail that his first love was a man. Ocean is one of the most high profile African-American R & B musicians to ever come out publicly.

Although hip-hop Russell Simmons and J-Zay both supported Ocean after he came out, other musicians have not been as kind. During an interview, legendary musical genius Stevie Wonder called Ocean “confused about his sexuality” for which Wonder later apologized. Wonder defended himself by saying “No one has been a greater advocate for the power of love in this world than I, both in my life and in my music. Clearly, love is love.”

“ No Homo No Good”

Rappers use no homo during occasions where a situation could be up for question and presumed homosexual. It means “I’m not Gay!”

Although it seems to be the latest colloquialism on the block that basketball players use “watch your back – no homo!,” it was actually used by Chiefs Receiver Dwayne Bowe in an interview with ESPN The Magazine in 2010. When he spoke about his relationship with quarterback Matt Cassel who joined the team in 2009, Bowe said: “it’s like an extra year with your girlfriend trying to map things out – you know, those quarterbacks, they’re like my girlfriend, no homo.”

Athletes and Rappers Need Time Out 

With the influence of athletes and hip hop permeating society with “no homo” and “that’s so gay” being heard in schools and colleges across the country, isn’t it about time we think before we speak?  Why is Lil Wayne, when he isn’t getting tattooed, so concerned about his fans regarding him as homosexual?… Hmm…