Put Those Feather Boas Back On! Ex-Gay Pride Month Changed

If you have been getting ready for “Ex-Gay Pride Month,” throwing off those shackles of same-sex attraction and signing up for the latest and greatest conversion therapy, you’re going to have to wait to celebrate: the event has been canceled.

Voice of the Voiceless, the organization formed specifically to organize ex-gay events and lobby in congress, has moved to declare September rather than July as the “First Annual Ex-Gay Awareness Month” because of “anti-ex gay extremism” and “security threats” on their ex-gay gala. In their press release on the subject and in responding to those that responded negatively to the celebration: “[Voice of the Voiceless has] long realized that LGBT organizations will not be our allies. We are routinely marginalized by organizations such as the American Psychological Association (APA) who routinely shut us out of the debate and refuse to give us a seat at the table.”

That could be just bad science on the conversion therapy’s side. But probably bias.

The group Truth Wins Out, a nonprofit organization that challenges anti-lgbt groups and extremism, challenged Voice of the Voiceless to disclose the names of activists and organizations that were considered part of the security threats on the event. “Until concrete allegations are made, we can only assume Dole is making an excuse for his organizations abject failure to produce a viable Ex-Gay Pride Month event.” The group cites that the most popular figures that were publicized for the event were merely invited, and that the ex-gay camp is using finger-pointing in order to not place the blame on themselves for an unviable and failing campaign.

The event to replace the lobbying dinner at the capital is being led by Dr. Douglas McIntyre, co-founder of a ministry group Homosexuals Anonymous that works with conversion therapy and individuals wanting to become ex-gays. Called “Grandpa Goes to Washington,” McIntyre is organizing a 10-day road trip to Washington D.C., with stops for political rallies and culminating with a lobby in Congress for ex-gay rights, along with all of the supporters he can pick up on the way.

Of three main bullet points he is arguing against, the first is specifically against the children’s show SheZOW , the second for children to have the option be able to overcome their same-sex attractions, and finally to include ex-gays under federal hate crimes law. I suppose with sister organizations closing <> you have to choose something, right? Just anything at all and be upset about it.

We’ll have to wait and see the impact—if any—that Voice of the Voiceless and the ex-gay movement can manage to drum up over the next few weeks, but more than likely these groups will call it a success for their visibility and bemoan the fact that people don’t believe them. If there is any momentum in the movement left, there needs to be some strategy changes because they are losing popularity and credit quickly.

I n all seriousness, if you are unhappy with your gender identity or sexual orientation, you should seek professional counseling to get the help you need to be happy with yourself and your life.

Gay Marriage in French Prison Is Actually Anti-Gay Marriage

As the saying goes, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Trying to beat them by joining them is one of the newest anti-gay marriage protests in France.

Last week, news outlets were buzzing as two male inmates, both serving long sentences for murder, were married in a civil ceremony.

Germain Gaiffe and Alfredo Stranieri had their “wedding ceremony” in a high-security prison at Poissy, near Paris. Gaiffe received a 30-yar sentence for beheading and chopping up a shopkeeper into pieces, and Stranieri gained the nickname the “small ads killer,” since he targeted his victims through classified advertisements, and was given a life sentence for killing four people and burying them in his garden. Both were sentenced in 2003.

As if the story needed more momentum, the two witnesses for the couple had a sort of celebrity status as well, in as distasteful of a light as those wed. Dieudonné M’bala M’bala, a controversial comedian who is vocally anti-gay marriage and anti-Semitic, and Iich Ramírez Sánchez, internationally known terrorist and better known as “Carlos the Jackal,” was transferred to the prison for the ceremony. He is serving two life sentences for a raid in Vienna on the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) headquarters in 1975, killing three people (though by his count he’s killed many more), and multiple bomb plots in Paris in the 1980s.

Does it all seem a bit too over-the-top? Others have thought so as well. The penitentiary union UFAP-Unsa Justice at the prison said that the wedding came from “just a desire to make some buzz,” and was altogether a “non-event.”

To discredit the couple further of supporting same-sex marriage in general, in 2011 they claimed to have fathered the child of a former French Politician, Rachida Dati, and courts added three months to each inmate’s time because of the defaming nature of the comments on Dati.

After same-sex marriage was legalized back in May there have been several protests by those in favor of “traditional” marriage and who have spoken out against lgbt rights.

Because of those in attendance, and the altogether high-profile nature of the ceremony, some are seeing past the shocking headlines and are realizing the absurdity of the situation. While anti-lgbt activists will likely use this prison wedding as ammunition against queer rights movements, possibly worldwide, more are coming to see it as less reality and more farce.

Gay Teen Suicide Sounds Too Familiar

Even with the gains in lgbt rights and recognized freedoms this year, there are still moments when we realize that there is still more work that needs to be done, for everyone within the community and without.

In an era with such publicized facts about and initiatives against bullying, it claims a lot of lives. Two weeks ago, a New Mexico teenager posted a final letter to his Twitter account before committing suicide after enduring a lifetime of bullying.

Carlos Vigil, 17, was actively involved in anti-bullying measures. Just before his death he was in North Carolina lobbying for an anti-bullying bill in the legislature. He regularly counseled other teens who felt bullied, and was thought of by many of his peers and adults to be quite confident. Overcoming bullying was an important subject to Carlos, who had just recently changed schools to escape harassment from classmates.

“We found out three years ago that he was going through this stuff and we’ve been trying to help him every day since,” his father, Ray Vigil told NBC affiliate KOB-TV. “We realize he’s been going through it every day since he was in third grade—that’s a long time for a child to hold that within himself.”

After finding out about Carlos’ note online, Ray rushed home to try to save his son. Carlos was rushed to the hospital on Saturday, July 13, and was taken off of life support that Tuesday. Dozens of classmates showed up to show support that Monday, and after he had passed Carlos’ family used his Twitter account to show their feelings: “Carlos is finally at peace! Thank you everyone for your support and prayers. Please don’t forget what he wanted STOP THE BULLYING.”

Chez Pazienza wrote a blog post on Huffington Post talking about the tragedy of Carlos and why it is important to remember him. Among many painful things, Pazienza wrote that,

“Carlos was a little boy with a smiley face lunchbox—and that’s why he deserved to be made fun of and abused. Carlos was a chubby, awkward kid with glasses—and that’s why he deserved to be made fun of and abused. Carlos was a teenager with acne—and that’s why he deserved to be made fun of and abused. Carlos was gay—and that’s why he deserved to be made fun of and abused. He wasn’t like everybody else—but in reality he was exactly like everybody else. He had a mother and a father, and friends, and a future, and dreams that could have come true.”

Sadly, Carlos saw himself to blame for his bullying. His heartbreaking note begins with “I’m sorry to those who I offended over the years. I’m blind to see that I, as a human being, suck. I’m an individual who is doing an injustice to the world and it’s time for me to leave.” It’s a terribly sad way for anyone to feel, to have internalized so much of the hate put on them cruelly by others.

An organization he helped found, Warehouse 508, plans to honor Carlos and the positive impact he had in his community while he was alive. Hopefully children and teenagers will get the assistance they need to overcome bullying in this country, because there seem to be far too many suicides, especially within the lgbt community, with ties to severe bullying.

 

New Studies Give Support to Same-Sex Parenting

While many see that one of the next big things for the lgbt movement to tackle will be adoption rights, they might not have to worry about dissenters commenting on same-sex parents and their ability to raise children.

Two recent studies, one in Australia and one in the U.S., point to children raised by same-sex parents not differing from, though perhaps even doing better than, children raised by opposite-sex families.

Melbourne University conducted the “Australian Study of Child Health in Same-Sex Families,” which is touted as the world’s largest study to date looking at the impact of gay and lesbian parents on their children. The study collected data on 500 children around Australia up to the age of 17, and interviewed 315 gay, lesbian, and bisexual parents by having them complete the world recognized “Child Health Questionnaire.”

Preliminary results in the study indicate no differences between children raised in same-sex and opposite-sex families in terms of physical and mental health, as well as in their social interactions among peers and adults.

A major difference though was that researchers found a higher degree of family cohesion and general health and happiness in children raised in same-sex families. A drawback to this is that children are more likely to experience discrimination because of their parents’ sexual orientation, which, lead researcher of the study, Dr. Simon Crouch, does think matters. “One of our hypotheses is that this experience of discrimination does have an impact on child health and well-being.”

However, as Dr. Crouch points out, this may be the reason why family cohesion was greater in families of gay and lesbian parents: “Because of the situation that same-sex families find themselves in, they are more willing to communicate and approach the issues that any child may face at school, like teasing or bullying. This fosters openness and means children tend to be more resilient. That would be our hypothesis.”

The other study, published in the July/August edition of Child Development, studied 104 families all across the United States: 50 headed by heterosexual couples, 25 by lesbian parents, and 29 by gay male partners. The children were all adopted at birth or within the first few weeks of life, and at the time of the study all were around three years old.

Researchers Dr. Rachel H. Farr, University of Massachusetts Amherst, and Dr. Charlotte J. Patterson, University of Virginia, found that ultimately, regardless of the gender of the parents, the children with positive child behavior lived with parents who had supportive co-parenting interactions, including greater pleasure, engagement, and communication between parents. The children with behavioral problems lived in homes with competition between the parents and dissatisfaction with divisions in child care. Dr. Farr and Dr. Patterson commented, “it was the parents who were the most satisfied with their arrangements with each other who had children with fewer behavior problems, such as acting out or showing aggressive behavior.”

The researchers noticed that gay and lesbian parents were more likely to share equally in childcare tasks, while heterosexual parents would specialize in their chores. Even with this division, researchers concluded that it didn’t matter: “It appears that while children are not affected by how parents divide childcare tasks, it definitely does matter how harmonious the parents’ relationships are with each other.”

While the number is unclear, there are reported millions of children living with same-sex parents. With these two important studies, it gives great support to advocates of same-sex parents, showing that it really is the love of the parents and a supportive atmosphere that raises the best and most well-adjusted children.

Publically Elected Out Gay Mayor Shows Opinions Changing in Mexico

Even with cartels and drug wars making headlines within Mexico, the lgbt community has some bright spots within the country.

Most recently, the country is celebrating its first openly gay elected mayor, who will be taking office in September in a remote and rural township (approximately a U.S. county) in the state of Zacatecas. The region is “known for cowboy boots, embossed belts and drug gang shootouts” reports AP, and Benjamin Medrano, the elected official, agrees. “Very machisto, I would say. I am going to be the mayor of a township where there are 258 villages full of tough country people, who don’t necessarily have much information on what’s happening elsewhere, and have even less of an automatic sympathy with their gay mayor.”

Medrano, who is 47, pins his fame and elected status not on being openly gay, but because he’s a respected singer and has been the owner of a gay bar for 18 years. Like many countries throughout the world, lgbt individuals are readily accepted in Mexico in the entertainment industry. While he is also openly gay, he does not consider himself an activist: “I’m not in favor of gay marriage, I don’t share that view, because we are still a very small town… in short, we’re not prepared.” He notes that his style of being gay means “It’s not like I’m going to paint the city hall pink.”

Medrano is not the only out public official in the country, but he is the first elected. While many other elected officials have been rumored to be queer, none have come out, and those who are out in the legislature have won their seats through a proportional-representation method where their parties designate them. Alejandro Brito, director of “Letra S,” one of the foremost gay rights groups in Mexico, said that the ability for out gay public officials to serve openly “shows that our human rights system is providing some protection. Because, even though there is no public majority in favor of electing gay politicians, [Medrano] knows that the legal framework will protect him.”

Much like in the U.S. currently, “It is now more risky for a political rival to be openly homophobic than it is to be a homosexual candidate,” Brito added.

Mexico City is the only place in the country where gay marriage is legal, but a supreme court ruling back in December 2012 opens the door for bans throughout the country to be repealed. And to top it off, over 80,000 people participated in the Gay Pride parade in Mexico City at the end of June. The conservative Catholic nation is opening up on this issue, slowly but colorfully.

Intense Community Interactions Over Gay Pride Month in Porterville, California

Going against the grain another time in national news, Porterville, California is under scrutiny for its recent city council decisions around the subject of lgbt rights and same-sex marriage.

For over a month there has been a heated debate within the community after the mayor signed a proclamation naming June “Gay Pride Month.” Mayor Virginia Gurrola was following the lead of both President Obama and governor of California Jerry Brown, who made declarations earlier. Of the members of the city council, the mayor was the only signatory, sparking a divide within the community. While it is within the duties of the mayor to issue proclamations with the council signing afterward, none of them joined in, setting the stage for the intensity that followed.

After the Supreme Court found Proposition 8 unconstitutional and allowed California to resume and recognize same-sex marriages, the lgbt community held a peaceful rally in a local park, and local government moved cautiously around the news. Some in the community were disappointed with the ruling, while others were nonplussed, seeing it as expected from the court.

On Tuesday, July 16, the city council met to debate the mayor’s declaration, to vote on repealing the notion, and to replace it with another. Beforehand in mid-June, council member Brian Ward drafted a resolution to call June “A Month of Community Charity and Goodwill to All.” The document was intended to have a more-widespread impact than just singling out a specific group.

When debating this decision, Ward asked the crowd, “Why does the LGBT community get special consideration? Why can’t it apply to everyone?” In just the beginning of the chaos of the night, someone in the crowd yelled back, “Because you hate us!” The council chamber was full of people, gaining a lot of attention from community members on which way the council would vote.

In 2008, the Porterville city council was the only one in the state of California to pass a resolution in favor of Proposition 8, and the feelings of the crowd reflected the past pain. Many felt that the decision to replace “Gay Pride Month” with something else rather than to include it alongside was homophobic and intended to cover up differences in the community rather than address them.

Back in the council chambers, police had to be brought in later that night when the vote to rescind the proclamation passed 3-2 and the crowd became visibly upset and agitated. Three activists disrupted the proceedings, holding up signs and shouting “You’re not fair!” All three were arrested and spent the night in jail.

It’s to be seen what will happen in the small but divided community of over 50,000 residents. Mayor Gurrola told the Huffington Post that she stood behind the proclamation, and that she became visibly agitated because she did not think that it was as controversial as the community made it be. She also said that after the vote was taken, a young person went to her, also hurt about what occurred in the meeting. “I told him, ‘be proud of who you are and don’t let those words hurt you, they’re just words.’ In general, I always try to tell young people around here, ‘you know what, we’re here for you. I’ve got your back.’” With sadness over the night, she added, “I’m afraid this time I didn’t have their backs.”

Why Are You Trippin’? Choosing LGBT-Friendly and Inclusive Travel Options

Where In The World Is…

Summer’s still in full bloom, and there’s still plenty of time for carving out some sweet getaways, whether or not you hook up with a sweet travel agent. Where do you want to play today?

And… are you sure about that?

Choose Your Own Adventure

You’ve seen all the advertising hoopla before: “Come fly with us.” “Queers welcome here!”

Rainbow flags go up, and you trust you’ll be well cared for on your “gaycay,” so all you’ll need to worry about is, perhaps, simply having the best “vaycay” ever.

Queer travelers’ tales can be a hit-and-miss kind of deal. We’re not here to share horror stories, but to provide better, more affirming options for you.

The last thing you want on a honeymoon voyage, a BFF’s night out, or a romantic weekend rendezvous is to see scowling waiters, resentful concierges, easily-offended hotel managers, or even B&B owners who “don’t dig your friends’ vibes,” especially when you have an honest to goodness question, need or desire as a paying customer.

So, are LGBT-owned companies best? Or, is “gay-friendly” acceptable enough for you?

The truth of the matter is, you should always follow your gut.

Just because a lesbian friend of a friend owns a business, they may or may not be ethical, or they may be gay-friendly in theory but not in practice. Or, maybe they’re open to gay travelers, but not trans* travelers. And just because your Yahoo search unearths a keyword-friendly link to a major airline or travel planner doesn’t mean “gay-friendliness begins here.”

What’s a roaming soul to do? Take some extra time, if you can make some of it.

 LGBT-Inclusive Travel Options

Where to begin? First, ask questions.  Make a call or post a question on a timeline in a forum.

Scroll and stroll through a few of the options here, and if time permits, be sure to do at least a little sleuthing before making plans. Visit not only an official homepage, but find Yelp, Yahoo and Google reviews, see if you kind find some blog posts about the business, and you might even check out Twitter or Facebook timelines (not just posts, but visitors’ and customers’ feedback).

A quick click tip: check out amenity offerings in advance: if you find a hotel isn’t hooking you up, make sure you “fight for your right to party” (mini-bars aren’t just for straight folks).

A Word About Transgender and Intersex Travel

Because there are less folks (so far!) who proactively hang out Transgender Pride pink-blue-white flags alongside those rainbows, a bit of creativity is required should you want to plan before hitting the road, and if you want that extra vote of trans-inclusive confidence.

We’re preaching to the choir here, but trans folks are most concerned while traveling at home or abroad when it comes to medical care. Trans vacation-goers: be sure to have copies of all documentation you feel comfortable bringing, especially when traveling abroad.

Take extra supplies, supplements or items you need for personal and medical care, and get situated with the paperwork ASAP, so you can relax into the pleasure of traveling.

Though lived experience for trans folks changes exponentially by the day, finding trans-friendly or trans-owned companies with trans-exclusive or best interests in mind is harder. You can check out some of the LGB resources below, too.

But for more trans-inclusive options, it’s best to ask around, and consult folks and/or online destinations that have a history of solid trans advocacy and helpful advice, along with LGBT places such as:

* TS RoadMap Int’l

* Laura’s Playground Forums (FTM and MTF)

* Sparta (Military folks are often experienced travelers

* ISNA

* The Brown Boi Project

* Ask local (or closest, or in-state/country) LGBT or PFLAG center/groups

* Gender.org US State-by-State

* Search LGBT Housing resources in the area (by default, you’ll get a better feel for environments)

* Find trans-friendly or LGBT-friendly advice that comes directly from a governmental source (e.g. this one from the UK)

* Surf Twitter, Tumblr and YouTube, and ask questions – tons of indie trans groups and bloggers pop up all the time.

Also again, like with all else, follow your instincts.

Though the sites above don’t specifically have to do with travel, trans* folks share many empowering resources, and connecting with folks online or in trans-specific support groups or health-care focused groups is invaluable for all kinds of referrals, including travel spots, the most trans-inclusive travel agencies, or places, what’s most cool, amazing or best avoided, and how keep safety in mind.

LGBTQ-Friendly Travel Alternatives

For Bi Folks

If you desire bi-specific travel experiences, you can review some more general resources below (such as centers and the like), or inquire with bi-affirming support groups or forums, as it’s not yet common for folks to hang out an “Open” sign for bi-only travel experiences. You can find that information with a bit of investigation, or by approaching an out, bi travel agent or bisexual travel-related business owner (check your local or state-based LGBT chamber of commerce or business directory).

The Random Factor: Pick A Pride, Any Pride

If you’re not sure exactly where you want to go and have a hankering to explore, you might just want to plan a trip to a Pride event in a new city or country. Interpride’s got you covered.

If you’d rather have a walkabout, look for destinations in larger metro areas (preferably ones that hold yearly pride events and/or are near colleges, which tend to attract more diversity-aware business owners, for financial reasons, at least).

Got a little extra cash? Then search for LGBT-only and LGBT-specific travel groups, agencies, and travel agents (not just travel packages, which may or may not diversity-minded).

A couple of recommendations: Olivia,  IGLTA or Out-Adventures.com. (Al and Chuck Travel, for example, is a gay-owned branch of another company, and often has to negotiate LGBT travelers’ experience around a main travel group’s preferences—you don’t just have the cruise ships to yourself or your group).

Also check out:

* Airbnb (search for “gay,” “lesbian,” “bisexual,” and more—don’t just click go but read and talk to the owner(s) first

* Craigslist (yes, you can still find more than just bootie calls there.)

* Dinah In Color

* Gaydays.com, Gaydaysanaheim.com

* Spiritjourneys.com

* Damron.com

* Rfamilyvacations.com

* Kimpton LGBT Guest Loyalty Perks

* Sweet

* PurpleRoofs.com

All told, if someone’s going to be n “LGBT-unfriendly” jerk—or worse—you can’t control it.

But you can, with a little forethought, try to better the odds, and you can always control your actions and reactions in the face of discrimination.

The point of traveling (beyond that kind you need to or have to do) is all about the frolic, comfort and joy. So, “go and get you some o’ that!”

Happy Travels.

Would you rather know for sure that your travel agent is family? Does that even matter to you?

The Invisible Transman: Black Transmen’s Poetry Video Big-Up’s Trans* Consciousness

If you didn’t know this guy was trans and you were attracted to him, would you be heading to Grindr right now to connect? Would you change your mind when you discovered he was trans? Would you even, then, call him “he?”How might your perceptions change, or would they change at all?

For all our postmodern and progressive activism in the LGBTQ community, dissent still arises along the lines of race, gender, class and more, even in “men’s only” or “women’s only” so-called shared spaces. As we work for full equality in real-life and real-time, the conversation surrounding these issues must continue.

This month on the Black Transmen, Inc. Twitter timeline, a tweet came across the ethers that demanded attention, reading:

#BlackTransmen Inc – TRANSMEN STAND UP!!!!! http://youtu.be/Weo5EQyqxnM via @BlackTransmen

Once you settle in to view it, you are immediately taken into another world that is grounded, centered, fierce, and empowered.

Resonance washes over you and you are reminded it’s the same world that you’re living in. Yet you know, from the minute the poet in it speaks to you, you’re moved into Xavier’s world, as he navigates who and what seems to be misguided on this guided tour.

As he claims his space and launches into “experience telling,” you are forced to think about one man’s life trajectory as a trans* man…he’s not speaking about “the black experience,” or “the trans* experience,” but the course and the work of living, according to one man.

As they say, what’s personal is most universal. This artistic work compels you to  harmonize, and frankly,to  deal.

Naturally, lived experience for trans* folks articulates in ways that may be challenging to fully articulate, even for trans* folks themselves. The telling of personal stories provides a clearing. A beginning. An open window, door, opportunity. Speaking truth to one’s own power is where power begins, and where it lives. Self-appointed entitlement to create and carve one’s own path is the only language power understands and it must be claimed.

African American transmen–and transmen of color–have additional hurdles that they encounter in terms of day-to-day livelihood that cisgendered folks or folks who don’t share the same background origin might not even be able to imagine.

Black Transmen Inc. creates multimedia work, press campaigns, outreach materials, workshops and creative projects to help invite, welcome and keep transmen in the conversation, no matter where they are, and to help others to better understand and support our trans brothers of color.

You must remember–we’re all family.

In the video, a poet named Xavier launches into an avant garde poetic diegesis on what one black transman’s experience feels like, and how he embraces–rather than disgraces or dismisses–his pre-transition identity.

As he waxes rhapsodic on the struggle for equality, he shares lines such as:

“You want me to deny my feminine nature…” [He won’t.]

“They have their realities, and I have my own.” [He asserts.]

“I prefer the term trans before man….this is my reality, and I embrace that…I will do things that suit my reality….” [He notifies you, regardless of your opinion on the matter.]

Going on to explore misconceptions around assumed gender trickery, privilege, what it means to “be stealth,” ostracism and ultimately empowerment, you’re compelled to think differently about what you think you know about begin a trans* person.

Have a look. No: on second thought, have a “Stop, look, and listen.”

How does the video make you feel? Does it inspire you? Share your comments and share your love in the comments area below.

Not Separate But Not Equal? Bisexuality Explained (At Least 13 Times)

Demonized, ostracized, unrecognized, and sexualized…what gives?  Though the “bi” in “bisexual” brings to mind either/or dualities, true-to-life bi experience is entirely unique.

Every year, Bi Visibility Day is observed on September 23.  (http://september23.bi.org).  Still, when it comes to bi visibility and/or invisibility, myths and misconceptions abound.

Dr. J.R. Little has identified 13 prevailing types of bisexuality.  On the face of it, these discoveries seek to classify bi experience as seen through a control group study.  At the very least, this reveals the fluidity of sexuality in general.  Predominant bisexual traits Dr. Little found are the following:

1. Alternating:  May be with a man, then after a   relationship ends, may choose a female partner for a subsequent relationship, continuing to alternate.

2. Circumstantial:  Primarily heterosexual, but will choose same sex partners only if they have no access to other-sex partners, like in gender-segregated circumstances.

3. Concurrent Relationships:  Have primary relationship with one gender only, but other casual or secondary relationships with people of another gender concurrently.

4. Conditional:  Either straight or gay/lesbian, but switches to a relationship with another gender for a specific purpose, like young straight males who prostitute with men for money or lesbians who marry men for social acceptance,  or to have children.

5. Emotional:  Have intimate emotional relationships with men and women, but only have sexual relationships with one gender.

6. Integrated:  Have more than one primary relationship at the same time, one with a man and one with a woman.

7. Exploratory:  Either straight or gay/lesbian, but have sex with another gender just to satisfy curiosity or “see what it’s like.”  (Bi-curious.)

8. Hedonistic:  Primarily straight or gay/lesbian but will sometimes have recreational sex with a different gender purely for sex.

9. Recreational:  Primarily heterosexual, but engage in gay or lesbian sex only when under the influence of substances.  (Party-sexual.)

10. Isolated:  100% straight or gay/lesbian now but has had at one or more sexual experience with another gender in the past.

11. Latent:  Completely straight or gay lesbian in behavior, but has strong desire for sex with another gender (having never acted on it).

12. Motivational:  Example – straight women who have sex with other women to please their male partner who requests it for his own arousal.

13. Transitional:  Temporarily identify as bisexual while in the process of moving from being straight to being gay or lesbian, or going from being gay or lesbian to being heterosexual.

No matter what your orientation is, sexual discovery is a process.  Whether or not you agree with Dr. Little—or bisexuality in general—if you seek to understand bisexuality, do your best to meet bi folks where they are, without trying to marginalize them or  inflict a sense of “wrongness” on them for having their own experience.

Nirvana wrote a song saying, “Everyone is gay.”  Did they get that right, or is everybody really bi?  What does bisexual consciousness mean to you?  Let us know below.

 

Modern Family Star Becomes Modern Family

Jesse Tyler Ferguson Marries Justin Mikita

Modern Family’s Emmy-nominated Jesse Tyler Ferguson who plays uptight lawyer Mitchell Pritchett, in real life, married a lawyer and long-time beau Justin Mikita on Saturday, July 20 in downtown Manhattan.

Details of the Wedding Verified by Ferguson’s Rep

Their wedding was officiated by Tony Award-winning playwright Tony Kushner of Angels of America and Lincoln fame. The ceremony took place downtown at 82 Mercer and was attended by over 200 guests, including the cast of Modern Family, Zachary Quinto and celebrities in the fashion world such as Isaac Mizrahi. The after-party was held at the Crosby St. Hotel.  The rehearsal dinner was at Harding’s Restaurant. All wedding festivities took place in New York.

Why? As guests on The View one day after Proposition 8 in California was declared unconstitutional last June, in the state in which they live, Ferguson and Mikita told their hosts that they planned to marry in New York where gay marriage is legal and where they were treated as equals.

 The Couple Ties A Double Knot 

Ferguson, 37, and Mikita, 27, have been dating for two years.  Red-headed Ferguson and swarthy Mikita became engaged last September in Mexico.  The couple on You Tube announced that they had formed a foundation called Tie the Knot.org. that benefits marriage equality.  It’s a site selling a stylish collection of unique bowties with the profits going to organizations that fight for marriage equality. Wedding guests were asked to donate to the organization rather than sending traditional wedding gifts.

Next month, Montana-born gay rights activist Ferguson, on the day that New Zealand’s gay marriage law becomes official will host a wedding aboard an Air New Zealand flight.

The Bluebird of Happiness Tweets

The day after he married, Ferguson tweeted that he “never been happier.” Two days after he married, he tweeted again “Top of the world. Top of the Cake.”