“Don’t ask, don’t tell” (DADT) was the official United States policy on gays serving in the military from December 21, 1993, to September 20, 2011.  The policy prohibited military personnel from discriminating against or harassing closeted homosexual or bisexual persons from military service.

The act prohibited any homosexual or bisexual person from disclosing his or her sexual orientation or from speaking about any homosexual relationships, including marriages of other familial attributes, while serving in the United States armed forces.  The act specified that service members who disclose that they are homosexual or engage in homosexual conduct should be separated (discharged) except when a service member’s conduct was “for the purpose of avoiding or terminating military service: Since DADT ended in 2011, open gays and lesbians have been able to serve.

Veterans’ Eligibility for State Benefits

On May 16, the state House of Representatives voted 134-0 in favor of legislation making veterans eligible for state benefits if they have been denied federal benefits solely because of their sexual orientation. Another requirement is that the veteran’s federal benefits must have been reinstated.

Last month, the bill, in a 34-0 vote, was passed by the Senate. Senator Carlo Leone ( D-36 of Stamford and Darien) said last month that the bill “cannot undo the mistakes of our past but can help restore rightly earned benefits.”

The legislation will soon be on Governor Dannel Mallory’s desk.

After two days of debate, with many amendments offered and discussed, the Culture Secretary and Minister for Equalities, Maria Miller told Mps just before the crucial vote “I accept that for some colleagues their beliefs mean that the principle of this issue is an insurmountable barrier to supporting this change.

“But to other colleagues I say, now is the time. Let us not be side-tracked nor distracted. Let us not expand the remit of this bill beyond its original intention. Let us make equal marriage possible because it is the right thing to do and then let us move on. I am pleased to commend this bill to the House.”

It has been a most dramatic time at London’s House of Parliament, on Monday the bill was in danger of being completely stalled by an amendment from a backbench Tory MP, thankfully in a deal with the opposition leader Ed Miliband, they overcame the wrecking amendment, which was designed purly to slow up and even halt the bill in its

There were a few further complications on Tuesday afternoon because of an amendment calling for Humanist marriage ceremonies to be legalised at the same time. Even though it had widespread support from Liberal Democrat and Labour MPs – the amendment was withdrawn after the attorney general warned that it would fall foul of the European Convention on Human Rights.

Under the bill, the Church of England and the Church in Wales would be banned from offering same-sex marriages because of their strongly stated opposition, unless they changed canon law. Whilst other religious organisations would be able to “opt in” to holding same-sex ceremonies.

Marriage Equality and getting the bill passed the Commons has been an enormous challenge for the UK Prime Minister David Cameron and is seen by many as a key part of his modernisation of the Conservative party, giving it wider appeal to the younger generations. However, such a move has cost the leader support from many old guard in the party, MP Crispin Blunt conceded that it has cost Cameron support – “He’s made his point, everyone knows the fire he’s going through with some of his own colleagues in order to deliver this and I hope people are going to be appropriately grateful for the fantastic leadership that he’s shown on this.” he told gay media in the UK

In terms of the current opposition to the measure, Mr Blunt added: “Once this is done, it’s finished, it’s over and everyone will wonder what on earth all the fuss was about.”

The Bill will now head to the House of Lords where it is likely to face determined and uncompromising opposition. The House of Lord’s are the older unelected chamber in UK’s archaic political system and are well known for their opposition to such moves towards equality. If the bill passes in the House of Lords, it could mean that same-sex marriages could be legal in the UK as early as the autumn of 2014.

May 2-7 poll by Gallup suggests that U.S. support for marriage equality is solidifying above the majority level.

Findings Very Different From 3 Years Ago

Three years ago, only 44% were in favor of gay marriage.  In 1996, only 27% of Americans supported same-sex marriage.

Highlights of the Poll:

• Nearly all U.S. subgroups are more likely to favor gay marriage now.
• Democrats, Independents, and liberals show increasing support for gay marriage, well above the majority.
• Republicans, conservatives, and moderates more likely to favor gay marriage now.
• Left-leaning political groups in last 3 years responsible for percentage increase.

Sixty-nine of Democrats believe in 2013 that gay marriage should be legal as opposed to 58% of Independents.  Only twenty-six percent of Republicans favor gay marriage.

Younger Americans are more likely than older Americans to favor same-sex marriage with the breakdown as follows:

• The highest percentage of approval comes from 18 to 29 year-olds.
• Fifty-three percent of 30 to 49 year-olds favor gay marriage.
• Forty-six percent of people, 50 to 64 year-olds favor gay marriage.
• Forty-one percent of sixty-five and older adults support gay marriage.

When asked their impression of how most Americans feel about the issue, 63% say the public is opposed to gay marriage when in effect, most support it.  Only 30% say the public favors it.  This finding suggests that a segment of Americans who support same-sex marriage believe that their views are in the minority, but they’re really in the majority.

Americans Are Not Convinced that Gay Marriage has Societal Benefits

Only 19% of Americans believe legalizing same-sex marriage will change society for the better.  But this figure is up from 10% in 2003. Forty percent say that legal gay marriage will have no effect on society or will make it worse (39%).

 

From May to October, 2013

While Pride has been traditionally associated with the month of June, some cities are starting as early as Memorial Day weekend and culminating in mid-October during Columbus Day weekend, coinciding with National Coming Out Day.

For a more complete listing, please see http:www.gaycities.com/events/guides.

Atlanta, Georgia Aquarium, October 11 (kickoff Party), Pride Festival, Piedmont Park Festival Grounds, October 12-13.

Boston Pride, Festival at City Hall Plaza, May 31-June 9, 2013.

Chicago Pride, May 24-25, 2013 and June 22-30, 2013

Dallas Pride Festival, September 14-15, 2013

Denver Pride, Civic Center Park, June 12-16, 2013

Houston Pride, Montrose, June 21-30

Key West Pride, June 5-9, 2013

Las Vegas Pride, Clark Co. Gov. Center, September 6-7, 2013

Matinee Las Vegas Festival, Memorial Day weekend, 2013

Los Angeles Pride, June 2-9, 2013

Napa and Sonoma, Ca., Gay Wine Weekend 2013, June 14-16, 2013

New Orleans Pride, French Quarter, June 21-23, 2013

New York City Pride, June 15-30, 2013

Philadelphia Pride, Wednesday, May 29, 2013  

Portland Bear Town 18, BearWrecked, Jupiter Hotel, June 6-7, 2013

Portland Pride, Tom McCall Waterfront Park, June 15-16, 2013

San Diego Pride, Hillcrest, Jul. 12-14, 2013

San Francisco Pride Parade:  Market Street Festival: City Hall Plaza, June 22-30, 2013

Washington, D.C., Capital Pride, Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Minnesota became the 12^th State to Legalize Gay Marriage on May 13, 2013.  Governor Mark Dayton signed the bill the following day that allows same-sex couples to marry on August 1^st.

Just four days after the House passed the bill on a 75-59 vote, Minnesota became the third state in the past eleven days,after Rhode Island and Delaware, to recognize gay marriage.  In Illinois, a gay marriage bill awaits a House vote after clearing the state Senate.

Minnesota becomes the first state in the Midwest to make gay marriage legal by way of a legislative vote.  Iowa, since 2009, has had same-sex marriage approved by a court ruling.

Minnesota Reverses Itself from November’s Voting

Less than a year ago, voters in Minnesota were weighing a constitutional ban on same-sex unions. Some thirty states have constitutional bans on same-sex marriage that can require a statewide vote to overturn.  Two years ago, Minnesota’s legislature that was controlled by Republicans backed a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage, defining marriage as strictly between a man and a woman.  The measure failed last fall, with 47% of the vote.  The legislature, controlled by the Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party, with a 39-28 majority, wastold by Democratic Governor Dayton that he would sign a bill legalizing same-sex marriage if lawmakers could pass one.

Those Opposed to the Bill

Most Republicans, except for Branden Petersen of suburban Andover, opposed the legislation.  In the Minnesota House and Senate, votes were allied along party lines. except for three Democrats, all from rural Minnesota who voted against the bill.   Opponents argued that gay marriage threatens religious liberties and contradicts biblical teachings.  They are also afraid that churches, schools, and businesses could be accused of discrimination because they oppose homosexuality.

The issue of gay marriage has pitted Minnesota’s most urban area around the Twin Cities against rural sections of the state which are not as enthusiastically in favor. Hotly contested, the bill considered drew thousands of spectators last Thursday after the House vote.

Next month, the United States Supreme Court is expected to deliver a ruling that may establish same-sex marriage as a right.

I would have to say that throughout my life, I have had a varying degree of faith; in myself, in religious entities, politicians and in other people generally.  While I have had many breaches of faith, and moments of self doubt and have been disappointed in the faith I had in people in whom I placed a certain degree of trust, I can say with a relative degree of confidence that I have always been a faithful person.  Even in my darkest moments, I clung to a belief in an unseen power within myself; one that could ultimately lift me out of whatever predicament I found myself in.  It is such leaps of faith that guided me through many difficult times and which will sustain me in any future moments in which a leap of faith will be necessary to  reach the next plateau.

Life changing decisions usually involve a leap of faith in order to make them.  I made one when I came out, 15 years ago now, which created immense momentum forward in my journey of self introspection and growth, culminating in the person I am today; an advocate, activist and proud queer male, not afraid to express his feelings about issues of the day and to work toward equality for all, without fear of repercussion.

I have recently taken another HUGE leap of faith in myself and my abilities, and arrived at a life changing decision; a decision which many people would not even dare make or dream of making.  After 20+ years working for the City of Oneonta, as its City Clerk, I tendered my resignation, effective on a mutually agreed upon date sometime in the middle of July.  I had anguished over this decision for literally a number of years, before finally taking the leap of faith to follow through with what I knew I had to do to move ahead in my life.

Change is never easy, but sometimes we must muster the courage within and do that which our internal inspiration compels us to do.  I see this as a bold life changing decision that will open many new opportunities for me, and yet to some, may seem like a crazy, suicidal action.

However, as is the case with water, if it does not circulate and move and get refreshed it stagnates and begins to stifle life and creativity.  Unfortunately, I had begun to stagnate and I felt the need to pursue more a more creative venue or venues in which to function.

Life is a book and chapters must end, and alas, it was time to close this chapter and move on to the next.  I look forward to the chapters yet to be written and the many wonders of life that await me.. I do not want to be 20 years out, at age 72, wondering what could have been if I hadn’t made the decision to leave my post.  My gut compelled me to move on and choose a new path.

What issue are you facing at the moment that requires a leap of faith?  Are you agonizing over a decision that must be made in order to complete yourself?  If you are, I encourage you to muster every bit of strength you can in order to propel you forward past your anguish and fear, and to make the decision you need to make to clear the path in order to continue your journey forward in life.  If you do not, you will be stuck at the fork in road like I was for many, many months, agonizing over whether or not to make the decision I knew I needed to make.

You deserve to be happy.  Happiness and contentment is derived from doing what you know is best for yourself.  Staying in a situation that you do not want to be in is not healthy and will cause undue stress and take years off your life.

Have faith in yourself and make the decision that is right for you!  Find your leap of faith that will clear your path and help you choose which one to take at the fork in the road. Do it today! Do not hesitate. Once you make your decision, do not look back. Do not second guess yourself, as that will only delay your personal growth forward unnecessarily.

Bill Likely Heard by full Senate week of May 13

Will Minnesota become the twelfth state to legalize same-sex marriage?  It’s inching closer with the passage of House File 1054 in the Democratic-Controlled House on May 9^th. With much debate beforehand, the bill’s sponsor Representative Karen Clark, a Democrat and lesbian, called the vote “ an historic day for same-sex marriage. In Minnesota, we don’t turn our backs on family.”

The Legislation Itself

A major section of the legislation was an amendment that calls for the use of the term “civil marriage” in all instances, regardless of whether the couples are of the same or opposite genders.  The amendment also includes a guarantee that religious organizations cannot be fined, punished, or stripped of special status for refusing to marry gay couples.

Representative Tim Kelly had proposed an amendment that would have created civil unions for same-sex couples rather than equal marriage rights, but The House rejected the vote 22-111.

Four Republicans ( Rep. Jenifer Loon, who said “there comes a time when you just have to set politics aside and decide in your gut what is the right thing to do,” Pat Garofalo, David Fitzsimmons and Andrea Kieffer) out of the sixty-one Republicans voted for same-sex marriage and two (Patti Fritz and Mary Sawatzy) out of seventy-three Democrats voted no.  The issue was more hotly contested in the more rural districts, far from the Twin Cities.  Minnesota voters in November had turned back efforts to ban gay marriage in the Minnesota constitution.

Same-sex marriage is expected to pass in the Senate next week and Governor Mark Dayton, Democrat, has promised that he will sign the bill.  With passage, gay marriage could start as soon as August 1.

How the Midwest Fares with Gay Marriage

Iowa has gay marriage decided by the courts in 2009.  In Illinois, State House members are considering a same-sex marriage bill already approved in the Democratic-led State House. Presently, Illinois has same-sex civil unions.  If this bill is signed, Minnesota would become the first state in the middle of the nation’to make a choice through legislative action, following eastern states Delaware’s and Rhode Island’s actions this month.

Would Allow Gays to Sponsor Foreign-born Partners

On May 7. 2013, Senate Judiciary Committee Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.) submitted to the Senate’s Immigration Bill an amendment that would allow legally married gay Americans to sponsor foreign-born partners for green cards. The Senate Judiciary Committee will consider the bipartisan immigration reform bill on May 9, 2013 as Congress returns from recess. The bill is expected to head to the full Senate in June.

Over the last decade through his push for the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA), Leahy has championed the issue for binational same-sex couples.  Leahy endorses that “for immigration reform to be truly comprehensive, it must include protections for all families.  We must end the discrimination that gay and lesbian families face in our immigration law.” President Barack Obama backs the amendment as the “right thing to do.”

Leahy doesn’t believe his efforts to allow U.S. citizens and legal permanent residents to petition for the foreign same-sex partners to come to the U.S. will harm the legislation prospects. Illinois Democratic Senator Dick Durbin, although he supports the amendment, warned on television that the group of negotiators didn’t have “a specific agreement.”

Expected Opposition to the Amendment

Republicans feel that the inclusion of LGBT rights into the Border Security, Economic Opportunity and Immigration Modernization Act will “kill” the Senate’s Immigration Bill, crafted by eight senators, that would increase border security, create new work-visa programs and offer a path to citizenship for unauthorized immigrants in the nation.

Says Marco Rubio, perhaps a Republican hopeful for the next presidential election, “there is a coalition of groups who are supporting immigration reform who will not support it if that’s in there.” Rubio, a Cuban immigrant, is not the only Republican sparring with the Democrats over this issue.

Jim DeMint, president of the Heritage Foundation, said on television the week of May 6 that his conservative think tank this week would argue that the immigration proposals would “cost Americans trillions of dollars” as unauthorized immigrants gain legal status and drain our government, taking government benefits.

As Senator Durbin said, “both sides may have to accept parts of the bill they don’t like.”

Gay Couples Can Marry July 1

On May 7, 2013, Delaware’s Senate voted,,12 to 9, to make Delaware the 11^th state in the nation to allow same-sex marriage.   Governor Jack Markell, calling it “a great day in Delaware,” signed the measure into law. It was introduced in the Democratic-controlled Legislature.

The bill won passage two weeks ago in the state House with a 23-18 vote.  Approximately a year ago, the state recognized same-sex civil unions. The new bill does not give same-sex couples any more rights or benefits under Delaware law than they currently have with civil unions, but it does give them deserved respect.

Polls Show that Majority of Americans Support Gay Marriage

“The momentum continues,” said Evan Wolfson, president of Freedom to Marry, an advocacy group in New York that aided the Delaware campaign.  Last week, Rhode Island adopted same-sex marriage.  Last fall there were ballot-box victories in Washington, Maryland, and Maine. In eight other states, now including Delaware, and the District of Columbia, it has been adopted by legislatures or required by court decisions.

House members are expected to consider same-sex marriage in Minnesota this week.  In Illinois, the Senate has approved a bill, but the House has not scheduled it.

Opponents of Same-Sex Marriage

Many religious leaders in Delaware are opposed to same-sex marriage.

Greg Lavelle, the minority whip and a Republican, said prior to the Delaware vote, “we won’t fully understand the impact of the legislation for years to come.  It was strange to have to defend traditional marriage that we have known for thousands of years.”

Despite the fact that all of the New England States now have same-sex marriage on the books, there are still thirty states that have adopted constitutional amendments limiting marriage to a man and a woman.  Only public ballots can reverse these measures.  Brian Brown, president of the National Organization for Marriage, which aids in financing opposition to gay marriage, says he is not discouraged by the recent victories in New England.  “The states that have passed same-sex marriage are deep-blue liberal states.”

Opponents and supporters for gay marriage will be eager to learn of the Supreme Court decisions in June.  The court will decide in one case if the federal government should recognize same-sex marriage in states where it is legal.  The other case will decide California’s Proposition 8 which banned same-sex marriage in that state after a court had declared it a legal right.

Why do we fear things so much?  What is inside us that prevents our evolution forward as complete people? How is it that we can harbor grand visions of ourselves reaching levels of success and notoriety and yet within us, right next to those visions is the fear of the dreams and aspirations that would result from the fruition of our visions.  We need to overcome this horrendous fear of what we want…. IMMEDIATELY.

The most glaring representation of this fear is being held captive at our own will within a dark, musty closet hiding our true selves.  Living my lie was the most heart wrenching experience I have endured to this point in my life.  I aspired to be the ideal person I had created in my mind.  I aspired to be a successful person, living openly and freely as a queer man, doing and saying whatever I wanted without any fear of reprisal.  I envisioned myself to be happy and living life to the fullest without any regulators.

The fear of coming out so overpowered my dream of being the ideal person I could be, that I simply buried what I wanted even deeper inside of me, and made countless excuses about why I could not have what I wanted.  With each episode of not being able to overcome the fear, I got all the angrier and disgusted with myself.  I hated who I outwardly was and felt I was to be eternally captive to that evil force that lies within us too; the one that we create to stifle our progress forward to becoming the complete person we are all meant to be.

Coming out is a battle that I had waged for many years.  Eventually my fear of not being who I was born to be motivated me more than staying the in closet worrying about what would happen if I actually was the person I was born to be.  I won the battle and I can openly and freely provide my insights on the process and to encourage others to follow their hearts and drop the façade and just be who they are meant to be.

On another front of my ever enduring trek forward toward a fully enlightened self, I have been dealing with an issue that has been driven by my fear of what I want and am diligently working to dispel.  I have ultimate goals of becoming a well renowned writer, being paid heftily for what I write!!!!  With that notoriety comes the demands being placed on my time with social and other interpersonal events.  The issue which I am dealing with is related to my fear of interacting within social circles and attending events at which I will be a main focus.  I know I need to do such things, and I see the big picture, and force myself to indulge in the events and once I am in attendance I am fine.  I have made great strides forward on this challenge, but I still have a way to go before I can fully embrace such interactions without any fear whatsoever.

Before I continue I must entrust some information to you that will fully explain the cause of my issue at hand.  In a prior blog I wrote that we develop habits which are very hard to break that were conceived during the time we are in the closet.  I stated that when someone would get to a certain point, I would then shut them out, for fear of being found out.

This fear of my sexuality being discovered drove me to being a loner, shutting out true love and prevented me from developing deep bonds of friendship with another person.  I would purposely not put myself in front and would operate in stealth mode always hiding my true inner essence.  I would have to say that this is the remaining battle I am waging against a past self, a self that I do not now recognize.

This remnant of a Jim Koury that is no longer, if not overcome, shall prevent the current Jim Koury from moving forward to discover the fully ideal version of Jim Koury.  I will overcome this battle and win it, just as I did when I waged the battle against myself in my coming out process.

You too can overcome the fear of what you want by reaching deep inside yourselves and touching your dreams and aspirations with every ounce of passion you can muster!  Keep in focus that which you want.  Emblazon your passion on your soul and wear it proudly every day, and never second guess yourself and turn back in retreat.  You will only do yourself unnecessary damage.

Together we can win this battle.  After it is won we can entrust our wisdom to others freely, without the prejudice of our own personal trials and tribulations intruding, and help them win their battles against their fear of what they want.  Reach out and discover yourself and empower yourselves to control your minds and only see the person you want to ultimately be.  Do this and you will overcome any adversity, as I will with my current shortcoming that has lingered from a past that is no longer.