#TaylorSwiftProblems: Billy Eichner’s “Glitter and Ribs” Parody Video Sings Angsty Summer Goodbyes

 

“You’ll never know my heart/like my heart/knows my heart…”

From Billy Eichner’s Taylor Swift Parody, “Glitter and Ribs

 

Art Imitating The Art of Emo Country-Pop

First Taylor Swift is the MTV VMAs victim (“I’ma let you finish”) , and now she’s the Mean Girl VMA vamp (just for mouthing the words “shut the eff up?). It’s kinda hard to keep up with all these pop star reality TV tragicomedies, isn’t it?

In the wake of Real Taylor Swift’s (ahem. Choreographed.) STFU incident and her recovery from it, Faux Taylor Swift just wants to muse aloud and brood.

Aloud.

So y’all, can we just take a second to wax nostalgic about the end of another bummer summer? Puh-lease?

Plucked right out of one of the lost episodes of Glee, here comes Billy on the Street with a little comic relief. Leave it to sassy-pants Billy Eichner to add his aggro two cents to the whole thing.

‘Cause really: which Taylor Swift are we supposed to believe in? Good Girl Taylor Swift or Bad Girl Taylor Swift? ‘You know we’re all either one thing or the other, don’t you?

Well, don’t you?!!!

_

In the new music video “Glitter and Ribs,” Funny or Die and Fuse TV’s resident smart-aleck sets the record straight. In the video, Faux Taylor Swift is every girl not yet a woman. She’s sassy, cute, happy, frustrated, sad, apologetic. She cries ugly, feels heartbroken, is independent. Yes. She’s strong, young, um…no. She’s old, totally weak and totally dependent. Yeah. Well…?

Celebrities are just like us—totally ambivalent and utterly complex.

 

Hook Up, Heartbreak, Cash In, Repeat

The real target of this video is the crazy, silly entertainment industry. “Glitter and Ribs” breaks down the “summer fling to summer heartbreak” song formula, the lie that is the ingenue/Lolita aesthetic, and the naughty habit pop stars and producers have of recycling the same song and video over and over to communicate the same ideas—and how that theater of the absurd spills into offstage antics, which then strangely become “real-life” antics.

And then the whole (press) cycle begins again.

As with everything in life, there is of course a grain of truth to what’s going on (private details we’ll surely never know) and how that contributes to Swift’s own creative process. Many artists believe that suffering is a key ingredient necessary for creative inspiration, and Swift just rocks that trope in her own Taylor-ish ways.

And why wouldn’t she? Doing so is a lucrative business, and these recurring themes work for her. The music business is indeed a business. Broken-hearted music sells, and “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” doesn’t apply to this particular case study and music biz model.

Swift’s sales figures and chart positions are telling: there’s catharsis to be had from hearing and singing along with this narrative that’s ever on repeat.

Still, when you think about the artistic choices Taylor Swift and her press team make compared to…say, India Arie’s, the repeated messaging, saga and drama that “Real Taylor Swift” is broadcasting do seem to be more than a little bit laughable.

And sometimes, ya gotta laugh to keep from crying.

Unless of course, you’re Faux Taylor Swift, because “life won’t always be glitter and ribs.”

So ciao for now…see you next summer never-ever-ever!

xo (sniffle, sniffle) xox,

– Faux Taylor Swift 

P.S. Ms. Faux Taylor, wash your face full of runny mascara away, come back to your viewing device of choice, and watch Billy on the Street. That’ll solve everything. For now.

Kisses!

 

Men At Twerk Are NSFW: Big Freedia, Drag DJs and Men In Queer Culture — Are they Putting Miley Cyrus to Shame?

“Miley Cyrus’ twerk-filled performance at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards has become the most discussed, polarizing few minutes in a show that saw an ‘N Sync reunion and silhouetted Kanye West singing “Blood on the Leaves”. More than one think piece has accused Cyrus of appropriating and exploiting black culture for her own benefit at the detriment of its pioneers [like Big Freedia].”

                                                                                          – Jason Newman for Fuse.TV

On The #MileyTwerk Controversy and Queer Black Culture

“I’m a singer. I’m not a twerker, I’m not a rapper. I’m a singer…. I really can sing. And you know I can twerk—watch my videos. So there.” – Singer/Pop Artist Miley Cyrus 

[Note: In principle and practice, many of the clips and links below are NSFW. Not. Safe. For. Work. Surf with caution. Some of the content doesn’t prepare you for this fact pre-launch.]

Feminists are not having it.

Kids in San Diego are getting in trouble—like “suspended” in trouble.

Hannity and Limbaugh are hornswoggled, all about this “shocking new twerking thing.” The word “twerk” has made it into the dictionary. Women are even twerking in church…on camera.

But y’all know twerking is nothing new. By now, you’ve likely traced its roots back to Africa’s diaspora, strip club feasts of fancy or your garden variety YouTube/Vine video. Let’s just say it’s familiar.

Twerking’s “a new thing” for Miley Cyrus to do in public (not counting press campaigns planned far in advance of any twerk attempts), so therefore it is “news.” Girlfriend is owning it as-is—so by now ya gotta know, it is Miley’s full intention is to twerk poorly and call attention to the fact that there’s not all too much junk in her trunk.

Ms. Miley ain’t out to win twerk-a-thon championships, and nothing that a Disney grad does—one who’s still on top—is accidental.

Now that that’s out of the way: folks can’t tell what they find most offensive about Miley’s runaway bootie: her lack of hip gyrations, her cultural appropriation, using African American folks as props alongside teddy bears, or her choice to milk every last drop of so-called shock value from ratchet living ’til it’s dry.

MC’s camp is well aware that the so-called American TV demographic isn’t ready for a real-deal twerk. Why would she practice twerking aiming to make that look authentic when it wouldn’t get on the air for the world to see? (Let the “people props” get closer to that.)

As for cultural appropriation, using people as props et al—this is nothing men (and/or Madonna!) haven’t done for decades in the entertainment industry—does that make it okay?

While ratchet/twerking music and culture’s aimed at dancing and partying all night (among, ahem, other ideas), twerking draws upon elements of queer culture. We are everywhere, so why would this not be the case?

LGBTQ folks find Miley’s new-found popularity scenario to be familiar: she’s shining in the spotlight, riding the wave of a cultural trend that’s been around in this form for at least 20 years. When such a trend makes its way to heteronormative culture and is performed by (at least more) heteronormative superstars, it’s salacious, sexy and provocative. “Controversial.” When it’s performed by LGBTQ folks in-community, people are confounded and disgusted. Granted, “disgust” is a subtextual form of interest and arousal, but most folks don’t take much time to process through that appropriately.

Too, to hear Huffpost/AOL tell it, their #MenAtTwerk compilation is one of America’s funniest home videos. As it’s taken out of context, that’s one viewpoint—but because of the platform and audience Huffpost has, such a viewpoint leaves room for much misinterpretation. In-culture, the #MenAtTwerk bootie-clap collage could be considered to be hot, fierce, authentic, queer-inclusive and/or funny at the very least. Not just “funny.”

Back in February, RuPaul and Big Freedia released the hypnotic video and single “Peanut Butter” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFoRH-VtFO4) flanked by raw, hot models and dancers (courtesy of Chi Chi LaRue and Big Freedia), and a whole…lotta…arse. (The title of the track is “Peanut Butter,” so no surprises there). This underground club banger’s selling well and re-popularized twerking in-culture in a way that Miley still has yet to understand. Ru and Freedia are internationally famous pop stars too—you just don’t hear about them in the press every…other…second on every other channel.

‘Bout That Actual Life: On Actually Fierce Twerk Game

“I haven’t really seen one bad comment about my twerk video,” she said, then added jokingly, “This is the first thing! All right, I can’t sing, I can’t act, I’m dumb, I’m a hillbilly, but I can twerk, so whatever!” – Miley Cyrus

What did not get as much mainstream press time in this latest cultural case study? Rap Artist-Musician Big Freedia, killin’ it with a jaw dropping set at the Afro-Punk Festival, which took place on the same day as the VMAs did, in the same city and cultural mecca (Brooklyn).

Still, Rap Artist-Musician Big Freedia’s mic is on. People are watching, listening and learning. Big Freedia isn’t any fly-by-night dilettante or hobbyist. This artist is the real, live deal—she’s been all up in Bounce culture and then some since 1999. While promoting her new FUSE show Big Freedia: Queen of Bounce (http://www.fuse.tv/shows/big-freedia), she’s making her voice heard, sharing her reflections about the repeated #MileyTwerk spectacle.

While she’s honest about leveraging this strange, emerging opportunity, Big Freedia minces no words: twerking has been screwed and chopped by mainstream culture, and someone from within the culture itself needs to set the record straight.

Sissy Bounce is here, it’s queer, and it’s always been with us.

Reigning Sissy Bounce Queen Diva: Big Freedia Takes New Orleans Bounce to the World Stage

In Her Own Words

“… It’s offensive to black culture and black women who’ve been twerking for years. Every time we do something, people want to snatch it and run with it and put their name on it. And they still don’t even have the moves down yet. Just get me and Miley together so I could give her ass some lessons.” – Big Freedia, on Miley Twerk-A-Mania

Big Freedia doesn’t just make Bounce music—she makes Sissy Bounce music.

She had plenty to share regarding Miley’s twerk-storm. From a recent interview with Fuse TV (http://www.fuse.tv/2013/08/big-freedia-miley-cyrus-twerk), here are a few thoughts Big Freedia shared with her audience:

…. she was trying to twerk. For one thing, we have a dance in bounce music called ‘exercising’ where you just open your legs and shake your butt a little bit from side to side… but she still didn’t even get that right because she didn’t have any butt control. She needs more practice.”

When you have my dancers, they’re professionals. They’re from New Orleans and know what they’re doing . When they started dancing, it was original twerking. Miley’s dancers were prop dancers. None of them were professional dancers.”

They could’ve used girls from New Orleans, even if they were not black, who knew what they’re doing. They’re just using anybody possible just to get that buzz since twerking is hot now. I’m still trying to wrap my head around this, though. I knew the twerking thing was really taking off, but I didn’t know it would blow up like this.”

FUSE asked,Going back to Miley, let’s say you were the choreographer and saw her performance as a dress rehearsal. What specific tips would you have given her?”

Big Freedia responded, “Don’t do it.”

Big Freedia also told Colorlines.com she plans to release a response track called “Twerk It,” which “explores the roots of twerk vocabulary.”

Twerk Couture: Bad Girls Twerking Badly Still Puts Twerking On the Map

You can’t really explain [twerking],” Miley said. “It’s something that comes naturally…It’s a lot of booty action…. I’ve been practicing probably for the past two years, in my own time in my living room.” – Miley Cyrus, to E Online

This is an achy-breaky trend that will not die, and Miley isn’t even attempting to backpedal her way out of it. She is riding it for all it is worth to her—and she’s not in this twerk game alone. She of course has handlers and press people. In her mind (from all press interview accounts), Miley really is just chilling with her friends and doing what she loves.

It’s A Feminist/Black/Queer Thing: Miley Isn’t Here to Make It Rain.

On Channeling Nothing

RT @MileyCyrus “Mile, if twerkintwerkin woulda been invented…. And I had a foam finger…. I woulda done the same thang you did.” – DAD

If you watch Miley Cyrus’ “We Can’t Stop” video or even Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines,” the point of the shimmery video spectacle is not about making sure celebs and models are “dancing well.”It’s all about the performative pantomime. Again, we already know this yummy aesthetic quite well: Andrew Christian and Chi Chi LaRue’s underwear ad campaigns alone take bootie-shaking to beatific heights, masterfully conjoining commerce, spectacle and eroticism. – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8S94OlPt7o.

Don’t let Miley’s twerk game fool you: titillation sells, and you can always take that to the bank. Twerk is another set of clothes for Ms. Cyrus. Miley’s still got time for high fashion photo shoots with Terry Richardson and has covered V, Cosmo, Harper’s, Elle UK and counting in recent memory. Those magazines don’t (yet) encourage ratchet couture spreads, and this twerking thing is but another momentary fashion prop for some.

Too, engaged to a man or not, Miley is gay-friendly and (many say) a queer lass indeed. Playing at queering culture isn’t something that can be shut on and off. Cyrus makes a proactive point to remind her fans about this, and the We Can’t Stop video is all about playing at bi-chic tropes and omnisexual aesthetics that may or may not keep happening when cameras stop rolling.

In terms of controversy and criticism goes, Miley takes it all in stride. Trained to deal with the public from a very early age (at least years old), she and her handlers know how to keep people talking and to take “faux rebellion” nowhere near the bleeding edge of real rebelliousness.

As for the pop star’s heiney? Here we have the good ol’ “Goodie I still get to look trick:” you criticize a woman for shakin’ what her momma gave her, telling your partner, the press, your friends, “Oooh! This is just scandalous!” All the while, you’re never taking your eyes off her bum and assorted hijinx. Scandalous attention is still attention.

We Can’t Stop Miley Cyrus. We Won’t Stop Miley Cyrus.

Cyrus’ only responses to criticism have moved along two main streams of thought.

Here’s one: when criticized for her unicorn onesie twerk video, Cyrus essentially said [paraphrased] “J. Dash is happy…no one heard of his song “Wop” before I did that.” And two: when hip hop legends such as Jay Z shout her out in their rhymes and in the press, people tell Miley he’s dissing her. Her responses?

RT @MileyCyrus Somewhere in America a Jay Z song is onnnnnn

RT @MileyCyrus That’s a win win forrrrrr me.

RT @MileyCyrus Call it what you want. But I don’t see Mr. Carter shoutin any of you bitches out. #twerkmileytwerk

And Jay Z agrees.

Miley is still working with (and yes, twerking with) Snoop Lion (aka Snoop Dogg), Odd Future, Ludacris, Big Sean, Pharrell, Juicy J, Nelly and many other rap artists du jour. The Yin Yang Twins wrote a stripper pole-ready song about her tush and twerking it. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-UXJO-iydM)

The verdict is in: Miley is “right” on all accounts.

Shameless Plugs

Speaking of accounts, Miley’s still posting pictures of her bootie @MileyCyrus, and you can keep up with Big Freedia’s latest pics and posts @Bigfreedia.

So let’s get a move-on #MCTWERKTEAM…. Assume the #MileyTwerk position and represent.

“Big Freedia: Queen of Bounce” debuts Wednesday, October 2 at 11/10C on Fuse TV and you can buy her album “Queen of Bounce” on iTunes by clicking here (http://www.bigfreedia.com).

You can learn (and dance!) more by watching the documentary “Big Freedia The Queen Diva” here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0yrp3nsvAs

You know Miley’s on top of the promo gig too: according to Miley’s Twitter TL, you can of course pre-order #Bangers / Wrecking Ball on iTunes here: (https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/wrecking-ball/id691238659?i=691239109).

Now Playing – Big Freedia – Y’all Get Back Now

Because she is royalty, let’s give the Diva the last word. Big Freedia recently told the Daily News:

Twerking—and it’s a lot more than twerking—comes from a long history of music and dance in New Orleans. Twerkin’ happen around the world for a long time now, so I’m very excited that it’s coming into the public eye, as long as it’s respected.”

We could say more on the matter and likely will.

But wouldn’t you rather be dancin’ and watchin’ all up on this anyway? Let’s free you up to do that. And let’s keep it real: how many times have you had to switch to your “kitty pics” screen-saver so you wouldn’t get caught watching “Peanut Butter” on loop? Oh—that was just us? Oh, okay. Right.

 

“Would You Rather…?” And Other Random Comedy Hijinks With Billy on the Street

Meet Billy on the Street.

While minding your own business strolling down the streets of New York City, would you rather:

A) Get “Quizzed in the Face.”

B) Subject yourself to a“Lesbian Lightning Round” game with a pack of wild lesbians for cash or prizes.

C) List sex moves in front of Mr. Rogers.

D) Fight in public about Denzel Washington.

E) Watch Billy Eichner humiliate Will Ferrell.

 

….for a dollar. Hurry up—quick, dammit! Choose your final answer.

 

[Insert your answer here.]

 

Do you accept that as your final answer?

Sorry, no! You’re wrong.

 

Guess what—there is no right answer!

 

Get At Me, Billy: Cray Cray Gay Videos

Something wicked this way comes: it’s Billy on the Street, a different kind of game show featuring your host, Billy Eichner (Bob’s Burgers, Upright Citizens Brigade).

Billy on the Street will shove his microphone directly in your face, scream out questions, random facts or celebrity’s names, chase you as you flee from him, run toward you like a freight train, or just plain scream.

And this ain’t no “Cash Cab” or “Price is Right.”

Quizzically queer himself, Billy loves spouting off occasional gay dude jokes with no real punchlines, and his show’s all about silly spectacle, gay-centric chaotic confusion and the comedy of the awkward.

This show is all about smart-ass #LOLZ for smarties, “Makin’ dreams come true” courtesy of FUSE TV, a US-based cable outlet.

“Do you like FUSE?” Eichner asks impromptu contestant “Mr. Singh. “They play, like, five-hour long blocks of Rihanna videos. You’ll love it!”

For those of you playing the home game, as you can tell by now, nothing and no one is sacred here.

Should you dare to answer Billy’s questions correctly and win, you may or may not get a prize valued at around a dollar.* Then, Eichner will immediately run away from you or shoo you away with an accompanying “Thank you—bye now,” “Get the f—out of here,” or other such quickly-pummeled pleasantries.

Should you happen to answer incorrectly and lose, you’ll experience public humiliation (be forced to wear chicken suits or wear sandwich boards telling people how idiotic you are). So either way, the viewers always win.

(*In all fairness, sometimes Billy will reward you with a honkin’ huge chunk of cash—as in a hundred dollars or more, or prize equivalent. However, that too is random.)

Give the People What They Want: Manic-Comedic Fire Drills

Moreover, Billy’s improv antics, random celebrity sightings and occasional cattiness have earned him a Daytime Emmy nomination. For going on four whole seasons, Eichner’s been annoying folks just trying to get to work or take in a solo tour of New York in peace, while he amuses the rest of us.

His persona? It’s pure-grade a-hole. The absolute nerve…!

Billy Eichner will find you and eff with you. It will be filmed for posterity and guffaws. You will become Internet-infamous for less than 15 minutes, and the world will laugh at you. It’s just a matter of time.

FUSE, iTunes, Funny or Die and YouTube jointly host clips and full episodes of the Billy on the Street series.

Take a shot at a random interaction with Billy @BILLYEICHNER, tweet your aggro quiz questions to #BILLYONTHESTREET, or click here to visit him at YouTube.

#FTW! Watch Billy quiz a gay man in the face: just how much do you know about vaginas? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tN70ur7-Q7A

 

 

Just Say YES to Kermit the Frog’s Gay Rainbow Connection Video

Let’s just get this out of the way: clicking on most of the videos below is reserved for adults only, NSFW, and utterly hilarious. All clear? All righty, then.

It’s true: “Same Love” (http://gayagenda.com/same-love-success) is gorgeous, beautiful, lyrical and incredible. Sometimes, it’s good to know we can joke together about marriage equality, too.

Hot on the strappy, red high heels of bawdy, silly or NSFW gay parody video zingers from IT GETS BETTERISH, Jonny McGovern the Gay Pimp (“Lookin’ Cute Feelin’ Cute”) CmaddoxBiitch‎ (Drag Tyra “smizing,”) ANY of Willam’s or Margaret Cho’s gay-themed clips, Sassy Gay Friend, and RuPaul’s “Peanut Butter” (you get the idea…)

…comes a Muppets-esque sing-a-long that’s less kid-friendly, more gay-friendly, and extremely ridiculous.

This “Kermie-inspired” creation by Raging Artist TV is a cleverly veiled spoof of “The Rainbow Connection” song and Muppets movie clip. A Kermit the Frog(ish), sweetly-voiced impersonator sings about marriage equality, divorce’s inevitability, and somehow works in kiddie rants about gay sex in North Korea, as well as controversy surrounding the Pope.

Sounds Ridiculous? It is. Get the idea?

Choice (and less racy)  lyric highlights include:

“Weddings are nightmares/People want them/so who cares/If it’s two girls or two guys?”

And–

“Someday we’ll all get/The Rainbow Connection/And all get divorced, probably” (Then Kermit adds, “Just saying, statistically speaking, it doesn’t look good.”)

The Kermit parody video’s creator Hersh Rephun said he was inspired by his frustration: “My comedy comes from the things that make me cry,”  Rephun said. “If I could write sad and beautiful music, this would be a much more serious video about marriage equality and finally being on the right side of history. Instead, it has Muppets getting divorced.”

We couldn’t find video of Kermit twerking,” he continued. “But I hope the kids and the dirty old men watch anyway.”

With all this snarky, crunchy goodness sung to the tune of the Rainbow Connection, once you take a listen and have a look, you’ll never feel the same about that song again. If you’re looking for a politically correct, feelgood singalong, you’d better keep on looking.

The (of course not officially affiliated) folks at The Jim Henson Company and at Disney have yet to make a statement about it, but the video’s making a strong enough statement of its own.

There are tons of other snicker-inducing marriage equality videos out there, like:

Dustin Lance Black’s Prop 8 The Musical – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug3YkVhkemg

Louis CK on Gay Marriage – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPvVnrV1tow

Pt. 1. Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-YCdcnf_P8

Pt. 2.  Gay Women Will Marry Your Boyfriends – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0Be8LnuG3U

Todrick Halls’ celebrity-packed video, “Cinderfella” – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9ZA7bn5ujk

Smurfs For Marriage Equality  – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WE_EawP3-h4

(George Takei, Jane Lynch, Alicia Silverstone and more in) Funny or Die’s A Gaythering Storm –  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnsG008ntYY

The Lonely Island – Spring Break Gay Anthem – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUw4Qh9uFK8

The Gay “Marry Me” – Eurovision 2013 Parody – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNUN_GLaIjY

And a gaggle of magical Marriage Equality memes for good measure. – http://politicalhumor.about.com/b/2013/03/28/funniest-redesigns-of-the-marriage-equality-sign-on-facebook.htm

So let’s go: let’s laugh our way to the LGBT right to marry (even if you think weddings suck!) and keep fighting the good fight.

Hot or Not? Funny…or just dumb? Do you think Kermit’s gay-friendly Rainbow Connection video gets the message across, or what? Tell us what’s on your mind, Darlings…

 

 

Queer Indie Comedy Revolution

Stand Out National Queer Comedy Search

Queeriously Funny: Let’s Start A Comedy Riot

There’s funny as in “funny…” and funny as in “Ha-ha!” Like Lady Gaga said, “Thank God and the Gays” we get to have both, Mary. Queers can “do funny” like (snaps fingers) nobody’s business. Making being “funny” funny is a straight-up Survival 101 tactic, and LGBTQ folks are living, breathing comedy maestros.

Stand Out: The National Queer Comedy Search is looking for the best of the best in “LGBT-owned and operated” jokes, routines, comedy skits, standups, funny performers and all-rounder smart-alecks of LGBTQ comedy.

Reviewing the submissions now, Stand Out just wrapped up its inaugural queer comedy search, and final contestants will each vie for a shot at winning over of $2,000 and a featured article in The Advocate magazine. Top-headlining performances will be hosted by Queer Comedy at Zanies in the heart of Chicago (thought by many to be the standup capital of the United States).

Laugh Queen, Laugh

From an OutLoud Chicago post:

“Presented by OutLoud Chicago, Absolut Vodka, Sidetrack The Video Bar and The Advocate Magazine, Stand Out strives to find the best in queer and queer-friendly comedy from all across the country, giving comedians national exposure and ending with a live competition for over $2,000 and a feature story in The Advocate.”

Though The Advocate’s always been a forerunner in covering queer comedy news, in the last few months, the leading gay publication has been promoting Gaysayer, their new LGBTQ-inclusive comedy Twitter stream, pumping out queer (and allies’) comedy tweets like clockwork. You don’t have to be queer to play @Gaysayer, but you’d better make it funny to get retweet-able attention.

Care for a sample and a chuckle? Check out a few of Gaysayer’s greatest RT’s.

Retweets (RT’s) shared via @Gaysayer:

RT ‏@michelleisawolf “Cool, yeah, keep calling yourself the LONE Ranger like I’m not right here” – Tonto.

RT  ‏@mkpaulsen I love wearing tight tshirts in dangerous areas, or as I call it “Anderson Coopering”. #StevieTV

RT ‏@LesbianLounge I am totally ready for the Lindsay Lohan/Amanda Bynes remake of “Thelma & Louise”.

RT @Zackblows Anderson Cooper’s nickname is “the silver fox” which is also what Betty White calls her vagina. #StevieTV

RT  ‏@jamismithcomic I just made decisions about my own vagina in honor of Wendy Davis.

RT  ‏@Jefflawrencenyc Anderson Cooper finally admitted he was gay. That’s the only thing he ever said that wasn’t news. @Gaysayer

RT ‏@HeyJeffreyJay I knew I had to lose weight when I grew out of my fat pants and had to start wearing my old skirts. #TransProblems

RT  @jamismithcomic I keep bumping into women at this crowded parade and calling it sex later on the phone with my friends.

RT  ‏@JasonBerlin The Greeks had a word for gay athletes. It was “athletes.”

RT @louisvirtel I imagine Britney Spears has perfect Comic Sans handwriting.

RT @RubinReport #PopeFrancis won’t judge gay people. I knew when he said, “Hey Jesus Heyyyy! at his first mass it was a good sign.

RT @kellyoxford Can I use Grindr to find a gay man to tell me if my outfit is okay?

Tee-hee! Visit here to tweet along with Gaysayer. (https://twitter.com/gaysayer) No guarantees, but they’re known to RT the sharpest barbs and wittiest quips they discover.

Are you a queer comedian, or do you want to be one? Psyche yourself up for next year’s contest by checking out the info here (http://www.advocate.com/comedy/2013/07/02/do-you-stand-out-were-searching-best-queer-comedy). Good luck…and stay gay!

Your move, funny people….