“One of Us?” Not As Much…On Fatboy Slim’s Queer Behavior

“The most ironic thing is that most of what we do was invented by black, gay Americans in the first place.”

– Fatboy Slim, on EDM / House Music

Fatboy Slim: Queer…or Just European?

Norman Cook (aka Fatboy Slim) is not one to dither around or dilly-dally when it comes to sonic expansiveness and creative perception. While serving as producer, writer or DJ, Fatboy “Jack-of-All-Genres” Slim happily bounces from genre to genre to suit each new mood, project or opportunity. His range of landscapes at-play include Independent Pop, British Hip Hop and House, Big Beat and Dance music, naturally.

Born Quentin Cook, this UK underground boy gone massive came from punk rock beginnings and scruffy indie aesthetics before heading away to college in Brighton, then segueing into club and DJ culture.

Cook enjoyed a brief stint as the bassist for UK alt-pop outfit The Housemartins and experienced his first dash of fame during the band’s “Happy Hour” phase. Soon enough, Cook worked his way back to clubbing and DJ’ing, finally gaining a critical mass of attention and fans with his production and mashup skills, and eventually coming into his own with the fame and success of the hypnotic tracks “Praise You” and “The Rockafeller Skank.”

Some lads hear it more than others, but the “Is He Gay or Just European?” trope prevails in a culture where a metrosexual is a term the British media coined to describe a distinctly European look, sensibility and sexual fluidity (often but not always attached to disposable income and class). Such themes include but are not limited to: effeminate fashion, unisex/asexual presentation and (ahem) sexual experimentation or fluidity. The fact that all metrosexual men are “straight” is of course hogwash. Too–more and more, youth culture refuses to “pick a team” or define themselves by any label whatsoever.

So now, we have the news that Fatboy Slim is a regular Pride entertainer, a staunch LGBTQ advocate, and has ‘experimented with’ men sexually.

If you’d hear it from Cook himself, it’s N.B.D., but perhaps of some interest: back in 2004, Fatboy Slim told the press, “Well, everyone’s had one try-out experience, haven’t they?”

On his relationship with wife Zoe Bell, Fatboy Slim went on, “Me and Zoe have always been convinced [our son is] gay anyway.”

The fact that such goings on were mostly laughed off and minimized typifies the sexual fluidity that is our shared human experience. In less of a “bi-chic” moment and more of a “yeah, that happened” moment, Cook’s language wasn’t quite politically correct but his sentiment speaks to a nonchalance that reveals how natural and fluid sexuality is.

Is this something we can or should ignore?

Being that Fatboy Slim’s son’s still of a tender age, Cook may be keeping laser-point specifics of his son’s life private and deflecting the concept of queering personal life or relationships. However last year, Cook told Pink News UK his that supporting equal marriage is a ‘no brainer’ and revealed, “I talk about the issue with my son.”

Cook, who’s done much education and advocacy work for local young artists in his hometown, once performed at the Terrace Bar of the House of Commons to support even more community-based music initiatives for youth. By having done so, could he be, however subconsciously, helping to open the minds of UK lawmakers to queer culture, sexually fluid living and LGBTQ art and iconography?

Time will tell.

Meanwhile, are Fatboy Slim’s remarks about his own ‘sexual experimentation’ dismissive…or “normal?”

In essence, you cannot un-queer yourself, culturally or sexually. What’s definitive here is that Cook is decidedly an ally. And for the time being, the rest is none of our “B.I.-IZ-NESS.”

Have a nosh on the concept while you nod your head to Fatboy Slim’s video, “Weapon of Choice” feat. Christopher Walken.  (Yes, Hunty’s: come back and share your thoughts with us after the jump-off.)



Why LGBTQ or GLBT? Why Trans* or Trans? A Look at Queering the Acronym

We communicate, therefore we abbreviate.

Social media may be viral, but without the words we say and the language we speak, it would have no foundation from which to travel and spread ideas.

Culturally, words are important to LGBTQIA folks. Not only for communicating concepts, but for fighting for our rights, for inclusivity, for assisting in diversity training, and of course, for us to find and to connect with each other among many other helpful purposes.

For instance, writing the word trans* with an asterisk at the end has its own special meaning. In short, the addition of the asterisk is more inclusive. Please click here to learn more about that in a full context.

Also, there are many people who find the word “transman” or “transwoman” to be dehumanizing or offensive, and who feel you should insert a space between each word for that reason.

But then of course, language is complex and contradictory. For example, the organization Black Transmen articulates the experience of trans* men by writing “transmen” as one word in their official parlance.

This brings to mind similar linguistic differences reminiscent of calling oneself “gay” versus calling oneself “same gender loving” or SGL. (“SGL” was a term created in generally African American circles, initiated to take one’s focus away from sex and place it on relationships, but SGL automatically excludes many trans* persons).

Or, there’s articulating queer culture as being “gay” rather than the more inclusive “LGBT” “GLBT,” that’s another example. Too, people can be attached to the order of the letters, favoring starting with “G” or “L.”). Next, there is “LGBTQ.” However, writing or saying “queer” can be an issue to some, as if there is something so-called “wrong” with being gay or having another sexual or gender orientation, rather than the intended meaning of reclaiming the insult as a word of empowerment (“We’re here, we’re queer. Get used to it.”).

Also, many acronyms and terms exist to behoove inclusivity-focused communication (e.g. LGBTQIAU for “lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, queer, intersex persons, allies and undeclared), and the lists go on and on.

Here are a few others:

SOFFA – Significant Other, Friends, Families and Allies – Generally used in trans* culture.

GAY – (This word didn’t begin as an acronym, but it has become one. Aside from literally meaning “homosexual,” “happy” or as shorthand for “LGBTQ”) – Gifted and Young, Good As You, Gay. Are You?

IMRU – I’m Queer/Gay. Are You?

LGBTQ / TBLG / LGBTQQIAAS / GLB / LGBTQIAP Any combination or order of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual, ally, straight, pansexual and so forth. When letters are excluded, this might have to do with, for instance, trans* activists who are exploring ideas of inclusivity when it comes to trans* culture. They might say, “We deserve to have a voice at this convention where the majority of the speakers are LGB-only.”

LGBTIH Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersexed and “hijira” (third gender).

TS Two-Spirit.

FABGLITTER Shorthand for Fetish and BDSM community, Allies or Polyamorous.

QUILTBAG Queer/Questioning, Undecided, Intersex, Lesbian, Transgender/Transsexual, Bisexual, Allied/Asexual, Gay/Genderqueer.

Social critics and in-community critics tend to think of all of these acronyms as “over-corrected political correctness,” too focused on sexuality, not separating sexual and gender expression properly, or too exclusive in nature.

Generally, living in queer culture involves many elements of culture, lifestyle, privilege, preference, sexual expression, race, class, gender identity, social and hierarchical challenges, religious and moral backgrounds, geographical diversity, preferences not to be labeled, and so much more that is exceedingly difficult to encapsulate or summarize.

If anything, the acronyms can become a code, a way of transacting in the world, a way to find and befriend allies, a way to encourage others to think differently or more broadly, or a way to regain respect and grounding among others in our environment who would seek to derail or exclude others.

As a communicator and mediator myself, this can make communication, sharing information and reportage seem somewhat challenging, but not impossibly so. Prosaically, I do tend to use many different terms interchangeably as well as alternating them—so it’s likely that will offend some or many without having an intention to do so.

Personally, I tend to go by the M.O. of: “I’ll address you respectfully and earnestly in the way you prefer to be addressed. I’ll do my best to honor y/our culture going on what I know, today, and using the breadth of terminology that’s available to us, so that we can all connect.”

Which acronym, term or shorthand do you prefer? (“None” counts, too.)

“Smexy Times” for Summer Lovers: A Playlist for Women-Loving Women

Pride events are still popping off all around the world—no doubt your iTunes playlist is filled to brimming, but there’s always room for one more great song, yes?

You could rock this playlist on the ride to Pride, use it to woo that office cutie you’ve had your eye on, make a little old school digital mixtape for your Honey, or keep them in your arsenal for that special someone on that next “smexy” night together.

Ready? Let’s go!

Love Songs for Lesbians

– MeShell Ndegeocello “Let Me Have You” – As a standout track from the movie “How Stella Got Her Groove Back,” home girl’s heart is hurting, her mind is racing, and she just wants a little loving. Your loving. “You’re the only one,” she coos with all the swagger of a rapper. Only she ain’t rappin’, she is singing, wooing, and wanting. Highly recommended for the romantic studs in the bunch who aren’t “too grown to cry,” and “ain’t too proud to beg.”

– The Ditty Bops – When’s She Coming Home –  Delightfully “twee,” charming and delicious, real-life couple and dynamic duo The Ditty Bops deliver sweetness and light on this particular track. Guitars strum melodically as they sing in tandem, “Afraid of the time on my hands…without her, I don’t have a plan.” Bonus for lesbian roomies hung up and crushing out on a roommate or friend, finally wanting to take things to the next level.

– Lady Gaga – “So Happy I Could Die” –  It’s debatable: some folks think this song is about Lady Gaga, referring to one of her many alter egos. And the point is…? Women who love women are a walking metaphor. As for this cut, Gaga goes all Euro-Electro (duh), swooning, “I love that lavender blonde…the way she moves, the way she walks…just give up, Baby. Open up your heart and your mind to me.”

– Peaches – “Boys Wanna Be Her.” –  Play it cool: act like you don’t care. You’re a rock star, right? So you don’t care. “Boys Wanna Be Her” is about you, isn’t it? Yup—that’s what we thought. This song’s full-on glam rock. With an easy, anthemic chorus and knife-edge vocals, “The way you rock nonstop, girl you got the chops…”  see there? You’ll get your lady dancing, you’re moving along in time, you start a mosh pit, party of two…and the rest is up to the both of you. Godspeed.

The Strap Step by The Lost Bois   – Totally NSFW lyrics regarding…well look at the title and make your guesses. This is an advanced track—let’s just say it’s not a first date selection. Strictly for adults only—you feel us? Side tangent, the Lost Bois’ flow on this track is amazing, and they’re not afraid to have a little giggle along the way (chicks dig humor!). Fully confident, fully queer, a tad bit cheeky, ultimately hot.

Namoli Brennet – Stars  – Dreamy, romantic bliss. “Maybe you were somebody’s unfinished symphony,” Namoli sings, pensive and endearing. “What if we, what if we are stars?” Nice pre-party or after-party track. Heck, just take it to the cocktail party. Gorgeous lyrics—Namoli always delivers as much. So chill. Just hold her hand, Mama. Let’s contemplate all this.

Ani Di Franco – Sunday Morning – This song’s vibe streams through mindscapes of a loving couple so very familiar with one another—but still able to appreciate life’s quirks and love’s gifts. She sings it to a lover departed, but it’s tricky, because she sings it in the present tense. Isn’t that always the way? | “Sunday morning, you’re doing your thing, and I am doing mine,” she sings so kindly. “Speaking words more a formality, ’cause we can feel we are of one mind. Sunday morning, sheets still warm and kitty’s swarming ’round our feet. Life comes easy. Your sweet company making it so complete.”Loving this: blast this track on a Sunday Morning and your Love will be so pleasantly surprised.

There you have it—it’s a start, anyhow. To hear all the songs on this playlist, visit this link.

Surely this playlist—with an emphasis on “play”—-is not yet complete. What’s missing? Let a sister know.

Et Tu, LGBTQ? | Gays Don’t Want to Get Gay-Married

“Men have to be dragged kicking and screaming to the altar – whether they’re straight or gay. Marital data obtained by The Post show a stark, 3-to-2 ratio of lesbian marriages, compared to all-male unions. Can we finally stop pretending that gay men are interested in getting ‘married?’”

– Joe Carter, FirstThings.com

Psst… Opinions Come In All The Colors of the Rainbow

Feelgood marriage equality campaigns make front page news. When it comes to marriage equality, dissent and debate on the subject “doesn’t bleed, therefore it doesn’t lead.”

Emotional appeals, petitions and yummy flash mobs are changing the tides, and they do bring with them a healthy amount of influence. Recent and continued marriage equality victories around the world (http://gayagenda.com/?s=marriage) are a testament to the fact that people are paying attention and spreading the word about freedom for everyone to marry. This translates to success in legislative arenas.

With each new court victory, aftershocks move from one blogger, activist and journalist to another—from one dissenting voice in this or that bar, library, or LGBT center and back again. It sounds like this: “We’re pressured to be good little gays or assimilationist queers, and to fit in. I don’t give a toss about fitting in. You can take your marriage rights and shove ’em!”

You don’t have to go too far to find all any “hell-no’ers.” Just turn your head to the side, away from the press, and voila!

Is it just men who don’t want to hook up…with one person…legally…for life?

Anecdotal evidence could tell you otherwise—check in with your women friends and have a good, long listen. Let’s not talk about the “sanctity of hetero marriage” viewpoint today. But since those dissenters exist (and hold political power), many LGBTQ folks who are politically active or vehemently anti-marriage will align with them—even if those fellow dissenters are anti-gay—so long as they’re against gay marriage in particular. (See” Gay Marriage Agenda” arguments at http://queerkidssaynomarriage.wordpress.com.)

When you think about the concept of “gay marriage,” it can feel confusing. We don’t say “hetero marriage” or “wo/man marriage.” The words “gay marriage” channel utterances of otherness between the syllables. (Like, “Look at this cute kitty marriage on YouTube!” ”Look Honey, it’s the Gays and the Gay Marriage thing on TV!”)

Too, the phrase by nature excludes LBTQ…and IA from the discussion (and other more inclusive acronyms and letters as they evolve, deserving upgraded legal protections as well). Allies are often though not always queer and questioning, and not just straight-identified. Queer culture is fluid like that. The words “gay marriage” can sound like something that needs to be tracked for stats’ sake. The phrase sounds “like an issue: gay marriage, teen pregnancy, drug addiction.”

Here’s the thing—gay marriage is still an issue. When holding hands in public or private space means risking your life, safety or livelihood, that’s a serious issue. When access into hospital rooms to see a hubby or wifey of 10 years (or a month, a year) is denied, what would that be, if not an issue?

The wording is telling: politically in terms of entitlement, agency, money, class (and other bonuses,), it is said that “gay men get the goodies first,” and the rest trickles on over to the other letters in the LGBTQI alphabet. Why, for instance, isn’t marriage equality called “queer marriage” or “LGBTQIA marriage?” “Trans marriage equality” as another concept that’s a tangential, cut-and-paste amalgam of legal and relational ideas still being hammered out.

As for getting goodies first, enjoying the first bits of crumbs when the expectation and norm is the whole damned pie, it’s a “faux privileged” state of affairs, anyhow. This isn’t the space for vilifying gay men by any means, even if they have no interest in sharing spectral space and rights.

The word gay is often interchangeably used in the place of LGBTQIA when we discuss everything from culturality to entertainment, still, the shortcut seems to add “suffer it to be so now” elements to activism work that can’t make good progress if it’s mired in gradualism.

Complicated, no doubt.

The pomp and romance wedding circumstance is something we need to love up on and appreciate. What’s life without love? Weddings are a gorgeous metaphor. Queer folks deserve that option. When the legal equality honeymoon ends and ends again state-by-state, we need to continue to do the work of commitment and marriage to the entire community.

These LGBTQ folks aren’t so keen on everybody getting “gay-married up.” Here are 11 different ways to think about things. Folks are saying:

1) No wedding, thanks: “We just wanna f*ck.” – http://www.vice.com/read/dont-celebrate-the-gay-marriage-victory-with-a-wedding-of-your-own

2) “Just because I’m not married doesn’t mean I have to be gay. Or that I should get married. Even if I am gay. Or…lesbian. Whatever. None of your business. Shut up!” (Anonymous anecdotal pull quote)

3) “Why can’t they take the opportunity to add trans rights into the experience? If I’m transitioning and not the supposed correct legal gender, or if I choose to marry a woman or a man, I should have legal protection for that.” (Anonymous anecdotal pull quote)

4) Poly people can be queer and committed too. Duh! (Anonymous anecdotal pull quote)

5) I just “don’t want to get gay married.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/liz-wallace/why-i-dont-want-to-get-gay-married_b_1544781.html

6) “Hi, I live in Europe.” Non, merci: http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/most-homosexuals-dont-want-to-marry-or-adopt-french-homosexual-leader-admit/

7) “Marriage is dumb. They just want your LGBT money, Honey.” https://creatingclare.wordpress.com/2013/07/26/silly-gay-people-dont-you-know-marriage-is-for-dummies.

Somebody wrote a song about –wanna hear it? Here it comes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQh5G8mOiSA

8) “Congratulations, you’re boring now:” http://nogaymarriage.wordpress.com/2011/06/27/congratulations-new-york

9) “Equality” isn’t enough. “Gay marriage apes hetero privilege.” http://www.againstequality.org/about/marriage

10) “We’re going to be rejected anyway, no matter what we do, so what’s the use of fighting for it?” http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/02/26/gays-who-dont-want-gay-marriage.html

11) You can “find your way,” and stay committed – it doesn’t have to be “conventional.” http://jezebel.com/5328896/nro-valentino-proves-people-dont-want-gay-marriage

Marry Gay? N-F-Way.

If you want to surf the #MarryGayNFWay train, you’ll find many bloggers out there to help you make that happen– many of whom bring to light salient points, and stats upon stats of support. Begin your journey at Gays Against Gay Marriage.(http://nogaymarriage.wordpress.com). Wear protective gear.

This writer believes in love. You can call it what you want, but you’d better get it while the getting is good.

And you? Do you get it?

#ProudToLove: Rainbow-Hearted Reflections on YouTube’s First LGBT Pride Celebration

Loving Equality: Making Summer of Love More #ProudToLove

England’s marriage equality law becomes official in a matter of days.  Marriage Equality and DOMA decisions in the United States continue to send a positive beacon of hope to LGBTQ folks everywhere.

“Set those precedents,” the Litigating Angels seem to be telling us, blowing their glittery faery dust around the world.

Okay, sure…“faery dust” is a bit much—but c’mon: this is the queer “Interwebs” we’re talkin’ about!

With the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) ruled unconstitutional by the US Supreme Court (lifting the same-sex marriage ban) and California following suit, the launch of YouTube’s official LGBTQ-themed #ProudToLove channel rides the waves of change that continue to ripple worldwide.

Continuing its yearly site-wide support of gay rights, parent company Google Inc. created YouTube’s #ProudToLove channel http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbpi6ZahtOH6Ep59vnHOZ0KBngOp-XiUP) and video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDm0zsw9vjY) on June 27.

In like fashion, Google relaunched its customary Rainbow Colored search results just in time for the summer of pride.  This yearly Easter Egg that revealed itself when visitors typed  LGBTQ-focused keywords like “gay,” “lesbian,” “transgender,” “marriage equality,” LGBT” or “bisexual”  (Google’s rainbow search results have been a tradition since 2008—or eons, in Internet years).

Graced with the soundtrack of Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’ “Same Love,” YouTube’s #ProudToLove video featured military “coming out” confessionals, Ellen DeGeneres, teenaged hero Jonah Mowry, Davey Wavey, Latrice Royale, Chaz Bono & Cher, Dan Savage, George Takei, Barack Obama at the White House LGBT Pride Month Reception, Willam Belli, and several uber-romantic LGBTQ-themed marriage proposals, all culminating in emphatic yeses.

Prominent and renowned LGBTQ advocacy organizations–if they weren’t already

partnered with the campaign–quickly posted #ProudToLove content in solidarity, chiming in with words, images, videos and sentiments of their own.

Other #ProudToLove ripple effects and highlights include:

Detractors have tried to troll this hashtag and idea, finding little success so far.  Such is the beauty of hashtags: creating instantaneous solidarity and community-building becomes easy-to-understand and propagate.

Pride Month’s really happening all summer long.  Isn’t that always the way?  Kudos to all for making Pride newsworthy every single day.

Being #ProudToLove is an international thing—how do you show your pride?  Who or what are you #ProudToLove? Share your thoughts, videos and tweets with us.  Make sure to include the hashtag, so your peeps can find you!


Gay Marriage Green Cards and Impact on Immigration Reform


A fairly straightforward process available to most Americans—obtaining a green card for your foreign-born spouse—has caused many headaches and heartaches for same-sex couples. For these over 40,000 recorded eligible couples, they have been forced to live away from their spouses without recognition of their lives as a couple, with infrequent visits and harsh penalties for too much time together, and/or have had to live in exile in countries that allowed same-sex couples easy residency.

That all is changed after the recent decision by the U.S. Supreme Court to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Same-sex marriages, regardless of the country of marriage as long as they are legal, are now recognized as completely equal in the eyes of the Federal Government. For LGBT American citizens married to or in a relationship with someone from another country this means that the elusive, unattainable green card is now a possible reality, and will bring many couples together after years of hassle.

A story illustrating the impacts of this decision occurred just after the Supreme Court publicly released their decision. American Sean Brooks and Columbian Steven Infante, a gay couple living in New York City, were going to an immigration hearing that most likely would have had Infante deported because of the overstaying of his via. Immediately, the immigration judge opened the way for Infante to get a green card and remain in the U.S. as a legal permanent resident, and this pathway is available to those who wish to seek it.

If you are in this situation and are looking how to obtain a green card for yourself or your spouse, Immigration Equality, a national organization that has been fighting for equality for LGBT and HIV-positive individuals since 1994, has released information about how the law is applicable and the steps to take to apply.

Gay marriage checked off the list, the country’s focus now turns toward immigration reform. A landmark immigration bill, one that would revamp the current immigration system and allow millions of undocumented persons the chance to gain citizenship, has been held up in the Senate because of a debate about the inclusion of gay and lesbian spouses. Interestingly enough, with the DOMA ruling, the same-sex spousal amendment was allowed to be removed from the bill and it passed the Senate on a vote of 68-32 after being held up with debates around the issue. Although the rewriting of immigration law is complicated and is surrounded in enough controversy as it is, the court’s decision allowed the bill to push forward, giving hope to many.

Hanging with Wyatt O’Brian Evans

Looking for a great book with a gay erotica twist that also presents realistic, deep and non-stereotypical characters?

Author, actor and activist Wyatt O’Brian Evans‘ new uncensored update to 2009’s Nothing Can Tear Us Apart is now available. Nothing Can Tear Us Apart: Uncensored is the exciting and compelling story of Wes and ‘Tonio – two masculine men of color (one African-American, one Latino) who confront daunting obstacles and struggles which jeopardize their monogamous relationship.

Sounds like a good read? It is. I am almost halfway through it (with some peeks at the final chapters to prepare for the interview) and have no plans to put it down. I had the pleasure to speak with Wyatt this week to learn more about his new project.

DanNation: Your main character seems to share many characteristics with you. Are you the inspiration for Wesley Laurence Kelly?

Wyatt: I always get that question. Yes – Wes and ‘Tonio are part of me but Wesley is the most like me. Both live in me and I know what lives inside them. And, there is a bit of a composite of others I have known in my life added in as well.

DanNation: What makes this book uncensored over the first edition?

Wyatt: I had a great response to the first book and was heavily scheduled with readings and seminars. In one of these readings, a roomful of people of diverse backgrounds gave me valuable feedback on the characters and story. I incorporated some of the feedback into a a rewrite of the entire novel. So this version is a reimagination – I believe in realism and wanted to beef up the erotic aspects of the book to coincide with how these men feel about each other and to reflect that extraordinary connection they had.

DanNation: Your characters deal with domestic violence, discrimination and other negative factors – is this a reflection of personal experience?

Wyatt: I’ve written extensively on domestic violence (on QBliss). During my life I’ve known men and women, both gay and straight, who were physically battered and emotionally abused in relationships. When I began this book, I wanted it to be realistic and a teaching moment. I wanted people to understand that domestic violence in our community is more prominent than you think and much of it goes unreported, especially for men. We strive for masculinity and the male tradition of “I need to be able to deal with it” without asking for help.

DanNation: Are you as much of a hopeless romantic as your characters? Do you currently have a partner?

Wyatt: First, I AM a romantic when I’m inspired. I’m an earthy guy. I am a romanticist and a romantic and when I am really into someone I am both.

Second, so many novels exist where two protagonists fall into lust – I wanted this story to have more of a slow burn. I wanted the reader to see who these two men really are. From the time they first meet, they are attracted to each other but apply the brakes to learn about each other first. Both had failed relationships and wanted take their own relationship more slowly. The face a challenge of mixing business with pleasure and hold off. This flow gives them a chance to fall in love and not in lust and this is the story I wanted to tell. I wanted to tell everyone that LGBT people can fall in love just like everyone else. We can find out what we have in common intellectually and at a spiritual level first. In Wes’ and ‘Tonio’s monogamous relationship, they experience internal conflicts and external factors that throw their monogamy into serious jeopardy. Antonio is a good looking and deliciously muscular bodyguard who has a horrible sense of abandonment. In the story, someone enters who exploits these feelings. This leaves Wes deciding that Antonio was unfaithful.

And I am currently single and interested parties can contact me via email!

DanNation: You have so much going on. How do you accomplish everything you do and remain sane?

Wyatt: I don’t know (smile). I’m a writer, communications consultant, journalist, motivation, voice-over, actor – I like to do a bunch of different things. It keeps me alive!

DanNation: No wonder you have no time for a relationship!

Wyatt: I’m very open to a relationship – if the right person comes along, I’ve always been able to adjust my schedule. You can’t have your life focused on only one area as you might miss that very special person. The ‘right’ people come around when you least expect it. If you are into each other, you know it and you work your schedules to make time.

DanNation: How do you choose your projects? Will there be a sequel?

Wyatt: I am finishing the novella “Sinnin’ in the Tha Citay.” It will be a short novel to be released in the spring of 2013.

In conjunction with QBliss, I will conduct workshops on depression, racism and domestic violence in the LGBT community later this year.

As for the sequel, I am writing it. This sequel, while tying up loose ends from this novel, is a total cliffhanger. The sequel will come out later in 2013 or early 2014.

DanNation: The way it is written, it would make a terrific film. Is that in the future?

Wyatt: I wrote the book like a screenplay and would love to craft into a television series or movie – it is structured for that. I really believe that this story has universal appeal because it is thought-provoking with twist and turns, romance, and drama. Women, men, hetero or straight can relate to Wes and ‘Tonio’s story as they are two people in love.

DanNation: How do readers get a copy of the book?

Wyatt: You can order the book from wyattobrianevans.com where you can order autographed copies. It will show up in bookstores in a few months.


So now you have a great new book for your night stand – read it. You won’t be disappointed!

Kirk Cameron Rants Again

Former child star and homophobic bigot Kirk Cameron is in the headlines again, this time for spouting anti-gay rubbish against marriage equality in a special video for the homophobic National Organization for Marriage that seeks to deny equality to all lesbian and gay people, reports Jason Shaw.

Kirk Cameron

Cameron is no stranger to gay hate, telling CNN’s Piers Morgan that homosexuality was “unnatural… I think that it’s detrimental, and ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization.” earlier this year.

During this new NOM video, Cameron proffers “If we want a great future in this world, we have to take God at his word, and God makes it really clear that society and civilization is really held together by the glue of families.”

Of course like most of the religious bigots, Kirk spouts off on taking god at his word, yet fails to live by that mantra, ignoring much of what the bible tells us are the words and laws of god. Like wearing clothes made of more than one fabric (Leviticus 19.19) letting different kinds of cattle grazing with each other (Leviticus 19.19) shaving and cutting hair, (Leviticus 19.27) or priests – who must be celibate, but if their daughter is a whore then she should be burned at the stake. If a man cheats on his wife or a wife cheats on her husband, they should both be put to death, again Leviticus (20.10) and we all know how faithful those anti-gay religious zealots are. They contest that being gay is an abomination and against god’s law, but I wonder how many of them have made love to a woman on her period and not been cut off from their people as demanded by Leviticus (20.18). I also wonder why these people let blind people, or those with disabilities or even folks with flat noses into church because all those are forbidden by god to go to his altar, according to Leviticus yet again. (21.17)

Anyone who dreams or prophesizes anything that is against god or anyone who tries to turn you from god is to be put to death according to Deuteronomy (13.5) but are the religious nuts going after anyone who has dreams with a gun or a bloody great wooden cross? Then how about if you find a city that worships a different god then the kindly Deuteronomy (13.12) tells you to destroy the city and kill all the inhabitants – including the animals. Pretty scary stuff, so is Cameron going to destroy Mecca, after all he says we have to take god at his word?

“Kirk Cameron and the anti-gay activists at NOM are making a claim that Americans know to be false.“ GLAAD President Herndon Graddick said in a statement following the videos release. “This rhetoric won’t work anymore. Communities across this country love and cherish their LGBT neighbors, friends and family members. This includes people in families headed by LGBT people. Their implication that LGBT couples can’t create loving and stable homes is not only outdated and irrelevant; it’s designed specifically to hurt those families.”

It’s time Kirk Cameron, NOM and all those other religious anti-gay anti-equality idiots to either live by all the rules of god and face the consequences or shut the heck up, for really marriage equality is not going to change their lives one little bit.  Nobody from the religious groups or anti-gay wing has come up to me to actually explain just how allowing marriage equality would actually harm their own marriage or alter their lives in any way.  Indeed as far as I can see,  only positives can derive from accepting all citizens as equal.

The Competitive Agenda

Since this is my first blog entry on this site, I’d like to start off with something that would grab your interest by the throat until you screamed for more. Or something like that. But that’s not my agenda; in this first paragraph at least. No, here, I get to say hi, with a little about myself, and give you a preview of the sorts of things I’ll be writing on.

Quick encapsulation of the stuff you’re not going to be able to derive – necessarily – from my writing: British, have lived in the US for 26 years, living with my b.f. Ben in Hollywood, six-foot-six, and, I have a serious health condition which I’d ordinarily save for a later reveal, except that it’s in my byline: I have bipolar disorder. Which means that living with bipolar disorder, and the way it interacts with another subject that’s frequently been closeted: homosexuality – will be one of my subjects. Otherwise, I intend to write a more personal blog than the average: you can call it “the gay condition”. And I’ll try to refrain from too many references to what goes on in what you might call the eccentric fringe of my mind.

One final introductory self-disclosure: I won’t be blogging about celebrities (except perhaps about why celebrity culture is a problem) or popular culture (because others know a lot more about it than I do.)

I intended to start this first entry with some Internet research on why spouses – gay or straight – are competitive. But Google insisted instead on only showing me links to a game show, “Gay, Straight or Taken.” What sparked my interest in this subject was thinking about my own experiences in romantic relationships, where I’ve frequently indulged in completely meaningless competition. Are other gay male partners this competitive; and does the double dose of testosterone in the latter make it more common there than in straight relationships?

Arm Wrestling

Lacking hard statistics, I will look at my own relationship with my eight-year-old partner Ben, (He’s not actually a toddler – I mean we’ve been together that long.) Since Ben is not here to serve his own defence, I’ll restrict matters (mostly) to my most popular topic: myself. The truth is that I was truly, madly, insanely competitive, in the first year of our relationship, to a point that’s frankly embarrassing. And I’m not going to refrain from embarrassing myself here. I’ve never been a particular friend of “product” – bathroom items such as skin toner, scrub, and cotton wool. My admittedly fading looks emerge from a face that hasn’t seen moisturizer in many years. I just can’t be bothered. Yet when I first moved in with Ben, I’d see him moisturize his torso lovingly every night, and, astonishingly, I’d feel envy. I had – at the time – too much acne to support additional moisture on my skin.

But I was disturbed that Ben’s Aveda could drive me crazy like this, so I consulted my therapist, who was then a gay man. (He’s still gay, but I’ve moved on.) To my relief, he told me that most gay couples are competitive. (I’m sure he was thinking inside “Yes, but Aveda!”) I was even more competitive, though, about clothing. If we went shopping together, Ben, being 5’10 with a good build, could find anything on the rack, whereas for me, with my 6’6 broad-shouldered frame, I’d often draw a complete blank. Clothes designers seem to think that if you’re 6’6, you also weigh about 300 lbs, and are correspondingly rotund.

But I discovered alteration! Before long, all of my shirts, sweaters and even tank-tops would go under the knife and resultingly fit me so flatteringly that even Ben became envious. (Now, seven years later, at the age of 47, I’m discovering the down-side: half of my wardrobe is now awaiting the mythical day when I’ll become as slim again as I was when I was a wee slip of a 40 year-old.)

For all those suffering from the irrational competitive drive to do all things better than your boyfriend, I’m here to say that things get better. You grow up, and, hopefully, the neuroses drop away. In my case, the process was helped by a life-threatening crisis we both went through that went a long way towards destroying interpersonal insecurities. May I recommend the same approach if you’re a sufferer?

Ben, on the other hand, is still hugely competitive. He will play neither chess nor Scrabble with me. The ignoble excuse against Scrabble is “Oh, English isn’t my first language.” That statement is not only an arrant falsehood (he grew up in Singapore where English if the first language), but also demonstrably irrelevant, as anybody who’s ever heard him speak in public could confirm. Not only that, but Ben obviously became envious that I had a serious mental-health diagnosis and he didn’t, so he invented one for himself, some sort of attention-deficit disorder. I think what he really has is just common or garden AMPS (Absent-Minded Professor Syndrome.) But, say I accept his diagnosis at face value: my bipolar disorder clearly trumps his ADD, so there!