#TaylorSwiftProblems: Billy Eichner’s “Glitter and Ribs” Parody Video Sings Angsty Summer Goodbyes

 

“You’ll never know my heart/like my heart/knows my heart…”

From Billy Eichner’s Taylor Swift Parody, “Glitter and Ribs

 

Art Imitating The Art of Emo Country-Pop

First Taylor Swift is the MTV VMAs victim (“I’ma let you finish”) , and now she’s the Mean Girl VMA vamp (just for mouthing the words “shut the eff up?). It’s kinda hard to keep up with all these pop star reality TV tragicomedies, isn’t it?

In the wake of Real Taylor Swift’s (ahem. Choreographed.) STFU incident and her recovery from it, Faux Taylor Swift just wants to muse aloud and brood.

Aloud.

So y’all, can we just take a second to wax nostalgic about the end of another bummer summer? Puh-lease?

Plucked right out of one of the lost episodes of Glee, here comes Billy on the Street with a little comic relief. Leave it to sassy-pants Billy Eichner to add his aggro two cents to the whole thing.

‘Cause really: which Taylor Swift are we supposed to believe in? Good Girl Taylor Swift or Bad Girl Taylor Swift? ‘You know we’re all either one thing or the other, don’t you?

Well, don’t you?!!!

_

In the new music video “Glitter and Ribs,” Funny or Die and Fuse TV’s resident smart-aleck sets the record straight. In the video, Faux Taylor Swift is every girl not yet a woman. She’s sassy, cute, happy, frustrated, sad, apologetic. She cries ugly, feels heartbroken, is independent. Yes. She’s strong, young, um…no. She’s old, totally weak and totally dependent. Yeah. Well…?

Celebrities are just like us—totally ambivalent and utterly complex.

 

Hook Up, Heartbreak, Cash In, Repeat

The real target of this video is the crazy, silly entertainment industry. “Glitter and Ribs” breaks down the “summer fling to summer heartbreak” song formula, the lie that is the ingenue/Lolita aesthetic, and the naughty habit pop stars and producers have of recycling the same song and video over and over to communicate the same ideas—and how that theater of the absurd spills into offstage antics, which then strangely become “real-life” antics.

And then the whole (press) cycle begins again.

As with everything in life, there is of course a grain of truth to what’s going on (private details we’ll surely never know) and how that contributes to Swift’s own creative process. Many artists believe that suffering is a key ingredient necessary for creative inspiration, and Swift just rocks that trope in her own Taylor-ish ways.

And why wouldn’t she? Doing so is a lucrative business, and these recurring themes work for her. The music business is indeed a business. Broken-hearted music sells, and “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” doesn’t apply to this particular case study and music biz model.

Swift’s sales figures and chart positions are telling: there’s catharsis to be had from hearing and singing along with this narrative that’s ever on repeat.

Still, when you think about the artistic choices Taylor Swift and her press team make compared to…say, India Arie’s, the repeated messaging, saga and drama that “Real Taylor Swift” is broadcasting do seem to be more than a little bit laughable.

And sometimes, ya gotta laugh to keep from crying.

Unless of course, you’re Faux Taylor Swift, because “life won’t always be glitter and ribs.”

So ciao for now…see you next summer never-ever-ever!

xo (sniffle, sniffle) xox,

– Faux Taylor Swift 

P.S. Ms. Faux Taylor, wash your face full of runny mascara away, come back to your viewing device of choice, and watch Billy on the Street. That’ll solve everything. For now.

Kisses!

 

Picture this Romance: Gorgeous Lesbian Indian Wedding Photos

Apart from Love, everything passes away.

The way to Heaven is in your heart.

Open and lift the wings of Love!

When Love’s wings are strong, you need no ladder.

– Rumi

“We are a typical couple, at least to us. We are an interracial couple of Indian and American descent who found love at first sight. Well, let’s make that Shannon found love at first sight. The day I met Seema, I was teaching one of my boot camp classes and I turned to another instructor and said ‘I’m going to marry her.’ Of course, Seema fell in love shortly after, and six years later it became true.”

Shannon and Seema, to Buzzfeed

With Love, From Shannon and Seema

Bringing with it all the vibrant, colorful imagery of Deepa Mehta’s “Fire,” this story, these images—it’s the stuff of modern myth—but what a beautiful surprise—this is in fact the real deal.

Huffington Post Gay Voices recently profiled photographer Steph Grant and her dear friends, newly-wedded couple Shannon and Seema, complemented with gorgeous, romantic and exquisitely rich images of two women who are deeply in love.

Put A Ring On It And Take A Picture, Please

“I have photographed Indian weddings before and I have photographed gay and lesbian weddings before, but never have I ever shot an Indian lesbian wedding,” photographer Steph Grant wrote about her recent (and lovely) wedding photography assignment.

While it is decidedly challenging to be out and proud in India (most especially for women) as well as in Indian diasporic culture, this recent news item is a hopeful reminder that change is possible. The wedding itself took place in Los Angeles, though the ceremony incorporated Indian wedding traditions and attire.

Continuing the story on her blog, Grant enthused, “I have been anticipating this wedding for years now! Shannon and Seema are special to me and I am honored that they chose me to be their wedding photographer. I flew into Los Angeles a few hours before the wedding festivities began. I was greeted by a house full of friends, family and a lot of laughter. It was going to be an exciting day.”

“Beautiful Indian culture, stunning brides & style for miles!” she continued. “Couldn’t ask for more. WOW. My heart! There was so much love that consumed the SmogShoppe that evening. Friends and family came pouring in with smiles, hugs and tears… these two are clearly loved and in love. I am writing this blog a month after the wedding and I am proud to say that so much progress has been made in our country with the Supreme Court striking down DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) and Prop 8 in California! Love wins. ALWAYS. Congrats Shannon & Seema. Love you guys!”

To check out the rest of the exclusive photos from this auspicious occasion, visit Steph Grant’s blog here: http://www.stephgrantphotography.com/blog/shannon-seema-indian-lesbian-wedding-los-angeles-ca

Have you ever seen such fabulous wedding photographs? And do you think you’ll ever get hitched? If you do, will you go “flossy-flossy” fancy, or do you think you’ll elope instead? Share your thoughts, Darl’s.

 

The Power of the P: Pink Wants to Tell You “The Truth About Love”

“When I first moved to Los Angeles, I was an honorary lesbian of Los Angeles…. I wasn’t gay, but all my girlfriends were…. That wasn’t my truth, and I like truth. I like absolute truth.”

– Pink, to “The Advocate” magazine.

If calling someone a “lesbian” is a cutting remark, apparently “P!nk’s” only response would be, “Thank you kindly. Enchanté…and to you as well, Sir…”

We kid, we kid—but if you’ve kept up with any of Pink’s latest goings on, you’ve likely seen the repeated headlines residing on each blog and online version of print magazines, “Pink doesn’t care if you call her a lesbian.” Or, “Pink thinks being called a lesbian is a compliment.”

Earlier this month during the Australian leg of her “Truth About Love Tour,” Pink danced in concert with a gay pride rainbow flag, helped a lesbian couple propose (wifey said “Yes!”), and got called out in social media for doing so, by being called a (gasp!) lesbian.

Though the mystery Tweet or share has yet to be rooted out, it’s kinda cool and rewarding to see a rock star make such a non-issue out of the incident. Too, divas usually big-up the gay boys in their atmosphere, which is lovely and deserved, it’s just nice to hear about the girl-girl posse every now and again, and to hear it lesbian pride voice without shame, apology, caveat, footnote or disclaimer.

We need to see more of that—it’s a nice beginning, and it gets people talking. However, more than likely, if someone mistook her for a woman-loving-woman, they would probably call her something more along the lines of “dyke,” “klondike,” or a few other choice words, many of which aren’t most ideal to reclaim or reprint.

We’re sure you know the scenario very well: short ‘do, spiky multicolored hair, handsome face, wiry build. Husky voice, punker’s sneer, eclectic tastes in music, friends and experience. So she’s gotta be a “dyke,” right?

“I’ve had a lot of my gay boys around, but my gay girls are my rootstalk,” the “So What” singer’s told the press previously. “They’re my honesty in an ocean of bulls**t. I should be gay by the way that I look and the way that I am. I just happen to not be. But it just makes perfect and complete sense.”

Married to lifestyle entrepreneur and ex-extreme sports racer Carey Hart (who’s also the father of their child Willow), Pink fired back her sentiments to haters, trolls and spammers in the Twitter-sphere as follows:

@Pink 4 Aug Fun fact: when you twitter me and say “you’re a lesbian” it really doesn’t bother me at all. It’s a compliment. Most of my fav ppl are, so…

@Pink 4 Aug I’m sure all of you hate filled humans can come up with something a little worse than that?!? Come on- be creative. You have 140 characters!

And about that lesbian wedding proposal? Here’s what Pink told her fans:

‏@Pink 7 Aug Lets see… Tonight I proposed for someone in the audience and she said yes… And then I sent a woman into labor! Great night! #sydney

You can see that sweet proposal at YouTube by clicking here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnsKcJDPGz0&feature=player_embedded – Fellow romantics: prepare to coo, melt and #Squee.

After all that tweetery, Pink then went right on about her business, tweeting and re-tweeting pics and punky-lovey-dovey exchanges with her hubby, essentially moving on with her life.

This “mistaken for a lesbian” concept isn’t new to Pink or anyone who looks like her. The way she handled it in the press was more than a little encouraging. Rather than laugh it off or even attack back, she simply made the whole idea in its entirety a punchline.

Hello Haters: Linda Perry Is Pink’s Co-Writer! Did You Want A Grammy For Your Song Too?

Calling someone “a lesbian” is akin to calling someone “fat,” “skinny,” “blue-eyed” or “brown-eyed.” It’s simply a trait. So of course, the so-called pejorative meaning is a joke in and of itself.

In all seriousness, ignorance is butt of the joke—queer culture isn’t the joke—and neither is Pink.

Boom! Roasted.

Good lookin’ out, Alecia.

Here’s pink wearing a gay pride flag, and oh! P.S., also singing her heiney off. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ia60TuJaiHM

What are some of your favorite comebacks to the  Beavis and Butthead-esque“ Uh-huh…heh, hey. Uh, yeah. You’re gay…” types of comments?

“Smexy Times” for Summer Lovers: A Playlist for Women-Loving Women

Pride events are still popping off all around the world—no doubt your iTunes playlist is filled to brimming, but there’s always room for one more great song, yes?

You could rock this playlist on the ride to Pride, use it to woo that office cutie you’ve had your eye on, make a little old school digital mixtape for your Honey, or keep them in your arsenal for that special someone on that next “smexy” night together.

Ready? Let’s go!

Love Songs for Lesbians

– MeShell Ndegeocello “Let Me Have You” – As a standout track from the movie “How Stella Got Her Groove Back,” home girl’s heart is hurting, her mind is racing, and she just wants a little loving. Your loving. “You’re the only one,” she coos with all the swagger of a rapper. Only she ain’t rappin’, she is singing, wooing, and wanting. Highly recommended for the romantic studs in the bunch who aren’t “too grown to cry,” and “ain’t too proud to beg.”

– The Ditty Bops – When’s She Coming Home –  Delightfully “twee,” charming and delicious, real-life couple and dynamic duo The Ditty Bops deliver sweetness and light on this particular track. Guitars strum melodically as they sing in tandem, “Afraid of the time on my hands…without her, I don’t have a plan.” Bonus for lesbian roomies hung up and crushing out on a roommate or friend, finally wanting to take things to the next level.

– Lady Gaga – “So Happy I Could Die” –  It’s debatable: some folks think this song is about Lady Gaga, referring to one of her many alter egos. And the point is…? Women who love women are a walking metaphor. As for this cut, Gaga goes all Euro-Electro (duh), swooning, “I love that lavender blonde…the way she moves, the way she walks…just give up, Baby. Open up your heart and your mind to me.”

– Peaches – “Boys Wanna Be Her.” –  Play it cool: act like you don’t care. You’re a rock star, right? So you don’t care. “Boys Wanna Be Her” is about you, isn’t it? Yup—that’s what we thought. This song’s full-on glam rock. With an easy, anthemic chorus and knife-edge vocals, “The way you rock nonstop, girl you got the chops…”  see there? You’ll get your lady dancing, you’re moving along in time, you start a mosh pit, party of two…and the rest is up to the both of you. Godspeed.

The Strap Step by The Lost Bois   – Totally NSFW lyrics regarding…well look at the title and make your guesses. This is an advanced track—let’s just say it’s not a first date selection. Strictly for adults only—you feel us? Side tangent, the Lost Bois’ flow on this track is amazing, and they’re not afraid to have a little giggle along the way (chicks dig humor!). Fully confident, fully queer, a tad bit cheeky, ultimately hot.

Namoli Brennet – Stars  – Dreamy, romantic bliss. “Maybe you were somebody’s unfinished symphony,” Namoli sings, pensive and endearing. “What if we, what if we are stars?” Nice pre-party or after-party track. Heck, just take it to the cocktail party. Gorgeous lyrics—Namoli always delivers as much. So chill. Just hold her hand, Mama. Let’s contemplate all this.

Ani Di Franco – Sunday Morning – This song’s vibe streams through mindscapes of a loving couple so very familiar with one another—but still able to appreciate life’s quirks and love’s gifts. She sings it to a lover departed, but it’s tricky, because she sings it in the present tense. Isn’t that always the way? | “Sunday morning, you’re doing your thing, and I am doing mine,” she sings so kindly. “Speaking words more a formality, ’cause we can feel we are of one mind. Sunday morning, sheets still warm and kitty’s swarming ’round our feet. Life comes easy. Your sweet company making it so complete.”Loving this: blast this track on a Sunday Morning and your Love will be so pleasantly surprised.

There you have it—it’s a start, anyhow. To hear all the songs on this playlist, visit this link.

Surely this playlist—with an emphasis on “play”—-is not yet complete. What’s missing? Let a sister know.

Admired and Desired: Checking In With Margaret Cho

I’m the One That I Want: Can We Reclaim the Word “Tranny?”


“I refer to myself as gay, but I’m married to a man.”

– Margaret Cho

LGBTQIA identity isn’t about who you do it with. Until, of course…it absolutely is.

Margaret Cho (“Drop Dead Diva,” “I’m The One That I Want’) is as scrappy as she is electric. She’ scrappy because she’s taken so much guff, sharing her multiple talents on and off-screen (she acts, sings, directs, writes, designs clothes, is a walking tattooed work of art and is a standout standup comic). Cho can transition from an elegant purr to a lioness’ growl with no hesitation. She’s electric, because she sings the body electric: she’s sensual, naughty, flirtatious, often bawdy and ultimately playful.

If you’ve seen her comedy flick “I’m The One That I Want,” the efforting in her journey to long term success is palpable. You get the sense she’s had to claw her way all the way up to the glass ceiling and had to brace herself with her back up, and kick the glass away with a pair of steel-toed Doc Martens just to disappear the damn thing.

Cho doesn’t “play the queer card,” or the race card. Rather, she is queering play. She is queering entertainment. When you can let the cameras roll and share  minute details about your open relationship on morning chat shows, (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/28/margaret-cho-i-refer-to-m_n_180383.html) segue into outing fellow celebs (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/21/margaret-cho-outing-john-travolta_n_3478594.html), put the world on notice that you will get down with anything that moves as you like (just like men do), and always leave ’em laughing…if anything, you could say Cho plays “the laughs card.”

But to what end? Her comedic M.O. Doesn’t feel like a manipulation, rather it’s a weapon.

As she’s currently promoting her latest venture, the MOTHER TOUR (http://www.margaretcho.com/2013/07/29/mother-tour-get-pre-sale-tix-today), thoughts and themes come to mind about Margaret Cho’s presence in the world.

There’s Some Tranny Chasers Up In Here

“ A few words about ‘trannychasing.’ I am not a trannychaser. Ok, actually I am a trannychaser. No I am not. I am a trannycatcher! Just kidding!” – Margaret Cho

As a self-confessed “tranny chaser,” Margaret Cho’s taken a good amount of flak for her feelings and affirmed desires, without too much apology. It’s a tough concept to think about, as she’s done so much brilliant work and she’s really been out there on the road, touring with Ani  DiFranco and Lilith Fair, indie all the way for decades on end, fearlessly advocating for queer rights, feminist and race equality, and respect in the entertainment industry.

There’s no doubt Cho is sex positive (she’s on the Good Vibrations board alongside much of her other activist and fund-raising work), queer-identified and trans* inclusive: she directed the highly acclaimed “Young James Dean” video  by Girlyman (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue_ia7Dikq0), featuring trans* peers and allies, covering lyrics about coming up as genderqueer. And her routines, filmic work and writing boasts a high trans* visibility ratio, including clearing the floor for trans* folks, often guys, to speak as well. She supports fellow trans* comics and entrepreneurs and leverages her celebrity to help folks make a steady income who might not do so otherwise. She will tweet, promote, and help to encourage business ventures for others—often tirelessly.

Folks have voiced concern with her humor about her “trannychaser” (or catcher) jokes and statements, and Cho has formally explained her viewpoint (http://www.margaretcho.com/2007/06/26/true-colors-break), stating these are just jokes based on reverence and respect, and that folks are taking things out of context—too seriously.

Fellow Tobi Hill-Meyer states Cho is objectifying trans* men (http://blog.handbasketproductions.com/?p=7) as cisgender men often do with  trans* women, fetishizing them and changing people into “things.”

“Trans IS a legitimate gender” is a defense against the objectification idea, posted by Cho’s comedic peer, Ian Harvie (http://ianharvie.com/trans-is-a-legitimate-gender).

Harvie wrote on his blog, “ If you believe Transgender IS a legitimate gender, how can you argue that it’s wrong to eroticize Trans people? If you do not see Trans as a legitimate gender, then what’s wrong with you?!I’m Trans, I’m Butch, and identify as a Trans man, regardless of my given biological sex. I absolutely believe it’s okay to be attracted to, exoticize, fetishsize, and eroticize any and all Trans people. After all, a fetish is something that we desire or that turns us on.”

Too, RuPaul penned the song “Tranny Chaser” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQOu2d0L1qE) as a declaration of sexuality, desirability, and a playful take on the concept. “Do you wanna be me?” the song bridge begins.  Fully aware of the seduction in the words, RuPaul goes on, “That don’t make you gay.” “Or do you wanna [beep] me? That don’t make you gay….”

It’s hard to laser-focus down to one “right take” on the issue when so many folks in-community with so many different experiences feel empowered by the erotic aspects of being queer and desired. Other bloggers have called Cho’s comments disgusting, meanwhile, she is blowing heteronormative minds open simply by sharing the concept. Rhetorical questions arise: is it better to be vilified, “romanticized, dehumanized, or eroticized? If we’re all “in on the desire,” is it wrong? Is there a happy medium that requires no context?

Cho grew up in San Francisco, which could explain matters somewhat. In the City, you are what you say you are, even if you change your mind about it tomorrow. Middle America doesn’t quite dovetail with such a mindset (yet?).

Issues of class and power can’t be ignored: though they all had challenging beginnings in their careers, now relatively better-paid or well-paid performers, Cho’s, Harvie’s and RuPaul’s experiences differ by definition from that of a queer or trans* man or woman who doesn’t have the same means or sense of empowerment to lead with sexuality, or who might lead a different lifestyle, might have experienced more harassment with less resources and so on.

When these issues arise consider them to be a gift: because they grant us the opportunity to talk about them, and hopefully to come to kind conclusions at the end of the day. There are no easy answers, and let’s hope we can all find ways to continue to ask the right questions and uplift one another, wherever we meet—even if it can never be in the middle.

Let’s hope we can amicably find ways to “agree to disagree,” and let’s keep shining, living, loving and relating.

Can a person really be a “fetish?” Is that even the issue here? Please share your experience.